Being funny. Comedy. Jokes. Can anyone do it?

People often tell me that I have a very dry sense of humor. I tend to come out of absolutely nowhere, ambush with a joke, and retreat into the bush before anyone realizes what's happened. A good friend of mine compared me to a humor ninja. What's amusing to me is how many people think I don't have much of a sense of humor at all. That makes me think about comedy in general. Why is something funny? Why do we poke fun at life's hardships? Why can we laugh even when it hurts to think about it?


A grinning sloth, because it's hilarious!
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Like beauty, humor is in the eye of the beholder. Professional humorists excel at pointing out the oddities in life and making us see them in new ways. Goofballs who do slapstick/physical comedy generally exaggerate behaviors to make them hilarious. There are hundreds of words describing something amusing, yet millions of ways of expressing them. I'd bet that one of the first things Adam said to Eve was a fart joke.

To answer my title question, sure anyone can be funny. Sometimes it just requires a bit of self-awareness and the ability to laugh at yourself. Naturally, like any skill, humor can be fine tuned and perfected. And, it can also be butchered badly. There's hardly worse humiliation than a joke that not only falls flat but digs its own grave. Don't let that worry you though. Most people appreciate a good joke, even a lame one. And, you may discover a real talent for comedy that you didn't even know you possessed.

So, wanna pull my finger?

- M

Star Wars thoughts on "The Last Jedi"

So, the new Star Wars movie has a title: "The Last Jedi." Yummy. Of course, there's not rampant speculation about what it means, what this new revelation foretells about the story, and everyone is going bonkers online about it. I've stayed away from such speculation for the most part, mainly because I only want a good story and refuse to let guesses spoil it all for me. In this case, however, I feel like stepping in and offering my thoughts. Take them or leave them, I'm no fortune teller.

To me, this title is exactly what I was expecting. The entire Jedi/Sith idea is being rewritten, so a fresh and new idea can take it's place. This is more than passing the baton to the next runner, it is a change of the overall picture. In the past, there's always been Jedi and Sith and there's pretty tight restrictions on the story because of it. "The Last Jedi" could simply mean that the very concept is ending. Remember, the original Star Wars was written as a "Hero's Journey." It's a great story framework. In it, many times, the mentor figure goes away (by death or otherwise leaving) in the middle of the story, so the fresh hero can face the world on their own. My hope is this is what's happening for Star Wars episode 8.

So, following these thoughts, what I come up with is a question. Will Luke fight someone, as Ben Kenobi did against Darth Vader? Or, will Luke allow himself to fade away, like an old cowboy hero riding into the sunset? Will they pay homage, or blaze a new trail? I don't know and hope nobody spoils the surprise. I'm hope we receive a wonderful story. In the end, the story carries our hearts, not the visuals. George Lucas said as much in an old interview. I'm hoping the story again takes primary focus.

- M

Cleaning out gutters ... is that supposed to be fun or hard?

Our house has I think too many gutters. I swear they are more numerous than the sides of our building. Plus, we have two wonderfully massive oak trees ... so, we need to clean the gutters often. The kids love doing it, and I'm very glad and blessed because ladders and I do not get along. I found out also that I need to make sure the horizontal portions are also cleaned out. Not sure why I didn't realize this before, as I'm sure any well-thinking person would have. But, now I have and get to add another cleaning duty to my list.

I've been intrigued by outdoor chores for a long time. Some people will actually take vacations just to do gardening--I think these people must be observed carefully, because they clearly aren't sane. Something my father did a lot was wash and wax his cars. I helped as a dutiful son (and I was definitely the most awesome waxer and polisher ever witnessed on the planet, thank you very much), yet have let that particular chore drop aside on my own vehicles. Another is washing windows; I can't say for certain if I've ever done this, but I know many people do and have to ask if it helps?

My wife and I love going around and looking at fine neighborhoods and their immaculate lawns. It's inspirational. I find myself dreaming of running waterfalls and koi ponds, with winding garden paths and fountains of roses ... and then I wake up in a sweat. Silly thing is, I really would love to have these things, but I just wouldn't maintain them in any appropriate fashion. It's not that I dislike outdoor work, it just isn't my particular pleasure. Although, our yard is big enough for something... I know, a jousting arena!

- M

History Channel's "Full Metal Jousting"

Utmost joys of completion

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There are few things that can possibly compete with the incredible joy of finishing writing a book. It's mind boggling the giddiness and light-headedness you feel. Sure, there's the upcoming editing--a joy all it's own, depending on how much you like it--and then publication, but the pure thrill of finishing is pure happiness. I can't imagine it ever gets old, even after hundreds of books. Well, maybe I don't want it to stop, because that means it's turned into a typical event and it's far too special to be typical.

We do a lot of things that take tons of work to complete. My wife makes quilts (often takes years), other people paint portraits and landscapes, some do gardening, sculpting, architecture. Whatever your passion, chances are it isn't immediately finished. So, why do we put so much effort into these things? How important are books and sculptures really? For me, the importance is incalculable.

We spend our lives creating, be it for work or pleasure. Many things get left undone, which is maybe why we find regret such a heartbreaking feeling, and do our very best to avoid it. Right now it's popular to make a "bucket list" of things you want to accomplish. Mostly it's stuff like climbing Mount Everest, or skydiving ... activities that are unusual, or extreme. It's clear we won't stop reaching to accomplish. So, what's on your list? Anything undone that you need to finish? What's stopping you? Get going and feel that thrill of completion!

- M

Movie reviews -- oddities that I enjoy but somehow didn't do well

Taste is an unknown factor, particularly in movies. For various reasons, some stories just don't hit the big time and fall flat on their faces. I'd like to discuss a few that I enjoy, which makes me weird and odd. Such is life.


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The first is a recent Johnny Depp flop called "Transcendence." (Budget $100 million, box office $103 million). It's about artificial intelligence, though not truly as the main character actually uploads his consciousness into a computer (yes, just like "Lawnmower Man" did). The story is about the concept, not the characters, which is always a touchy thing to do. However, the main failing is that the supposed good guys are horrible people and the purported bad guys are sympathetic, so there's no clear right and wrong. Despite this, the concept is actually pretty good--does having machine parts make you less human? I enjoy how everything proceeds in logical sequence. To me, it's a milieu story, where the characters just flow and bob to the discoveries being made. Let it wash over you and the movie makes sense.

Another is "Bourne Legacy" starring Jeremy Renner, and is the fourth Bourne movie. (Budget $125 million, box office $276.1 million). The story takes place parallel to the third Bourne movie ("The Bourne Ultimatum"). The main character is another super spy, and is absolutely capable and brutal in any circumstance. Many audiences expected more action, and I don't understand. The action is similar to the very first Bourne film, and the super spy just as invincible. The plot follows a man thrown to the wolves, who doesn't have a clue why and everyone is trying to kill him. Yup, typical spy story and it's fun. Just let the story run with it and you'll enjoy the race.

"Les Misérables" (1998 film) starring Liam Neeson. (Not sure about budget, box office $14.1 million). Of all the film adaptations, this one nails the book's story and has people you genuinely will care about. I adore this film. The central conflict of the book is redemption and forgiveness. The hero exhibits these traits, and the protagonist doesn't. Even if you haven't read the book, this film won't let you down. You understand their desires. You feel their pains and sorrows. You chomp at lost opportunity and reach for hope at every turn. Liam Neeson is incredible as the starring role. I truly don't understand why this film did so poorly. This is the only version I've purchased and kept--I won't even bother with the new all singing version (sorry, but I hate it).

Like I said, taste is a curious thing. And, yes, I know I'm odd ... thanks for noticing.

- M

Colloquial witticisms, or learning your own language all over again

Here in America there's a lot of fun to be had by going to different states and finding out that despite them speaking the same language, you can't figure out what it is they're actually saying. Typically this means using phrases can be wildly different, or the way things are said are strange, and probably words also don't mean the same things. My favorite example is soda pop, or cola, or pop, or Coke, or fizzy drinks. All those words describe the same carbonated sweet beverage. Comedians have made lots of money making fun of this reality, and like any good humor the truth makes it hilarious.

It's interesting to me how varied language is. English is my language, yet there's dozens of dialects and completely different vocabularies used throughout the world. I particularly enjoy the British and Australian versions, and love picking up new uses of words (or entirely new ones). I can only assume that other languages are the same way. Human beings just aren't content to leave things alone, and are sure to come up with new ways of doing anything--just think of how many times the wheel has been reinvented?



Yup, clear as mud. Am I supposed to read this in passing, or sit and work it out on my own time?

Of course, this can also cause unexpected confusion. If you're in the southern part of the United States and ask for a Coke, you might be asked which one you want? (Hint: if you want Coca Cola, ask for that instead.) This is a simple example, but imagine asking for directions and getting a detailed answer that doesn't appear correct as you follow it. Probably whoever gave you help used colloquial words specific to the region. Pity you didn't know them. Isn't that funny? Yup, I'm laughing my sides off as I haul off and belt down a good one...

- M

Write what you know

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I think it's fair to say that anyone who has ever had the slightest interest in writing, has been given the advice of only writing what you know. What does that truly mean? I prefer fiction, particularly fantasy and science fiction, and there is no way anyone could have personal knowledge of dragons or space battles or magic rings. So, why is the advice given? Does it mean you can't imagine and still write?

Nonsense.

The point being made is not to guess about things that are easily disproven. For instance, Tom Clancy's first novel, "The Hunt for Red October," is fiction. However, it is based on a real incident, using known technology, and with known rules. Tom Clancy spent a lot of time researching, so he could create a believable fiction story. Apparently it was so accurate that the FBI paid him a visit. So, no, Tom Clancy didn't know about submarines at the start--he was an insurance salesman--but he studied and learned. Then, he wrote about what he knew. The story is then very believable and the audience immediately trusts the author and delves into the book.

Advice is given for a variety of reasons, but I think the most common is out of true concern and best wishes. It's up to you to decide about accepting it or not. Another piece of advice is, "rules are made to be broken." When it comes to creating stories, do whatever works. "Fake it until you make it," is another chunk of advice I especially love. If you have a strong desire, you can find what you need to make your story work, even if you don't know all of it right now. Besides, even if you try and fail, you have at least tried. Perhaps the next time will work out better.

- M

Snow and Ice

I've often spoken about my love of snow. It's powdery, fluffy, sparkling, enchanting and magical stuff. However, like so many other things, there's an evil side of it ... ice. Yeesh, ice is only good on banquet tables when it's carved into a swan, or floating in your favorite beverage in little cubes. Ice is heavy, so it knocks down power poles, and ice is tough to scratch off your vehicle windows--so fools only scrape a small window to see through as they drive. Worst of all, ice is slippery. I've fallen on ice, slid on ice (while walking or driving), and gotten hurt on ice (again, while walking or driving). Ice is a nasty bit of work.


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These two items do fit very nicely among the many things that it's pleasant to see but not interact with. Look out your window and see your shrubbery frozen by ice and you may smile quite a lot. However, look out another window and see your car covered with ice and you won't smile at all. I can only imagine the consternation a city manager must deal with when reports of massive ice storms ruins their day (though I live in a typically warm state, so maybe I'm overthinking this issue). Somehow, I can't imagine anyone clapping upon hearing that an ice storm is imminent.

Weather is a topic of discussion wherever you live, and since it constantly changes we many times point to it for examples of certain people. Lightning quick. Stormy personality. Sunny disposition. Gloomy. Overcast. There are a thousand descriptions tied specifically to the weather. Why? Easy, because we all understand general weather. Using weather to describe things is a powerful method to capture the imagination, and draw out emotion.

So, have you heard anyone say they love ice? Can't say I have, but it sure is pretty cut into a swan...

- M

Peace in the midst of torment.

Recent movies, such as "Unbroken," "Race," and "Still Alice" demonstrate people finding hope and peace despite their circumstances. There are as many stories about hardships as there are people, yet we can always find inspiration in them. Why do we look? It's an easy question to answer. We want to know that others have made it through terrible times and come out okay at the other end. Difficult times are hard enough, and adding the feeling of being totally alone in the experience makes it almost unbearable. Isn't it incredible how relieved you feel when you discover someone else has undergone the same trials?

There are many times we look for encouragement, and it's not always when times are tough. Maybe it's looking for a soul mate, or striving for business success, and perhaps those things are doing okay but not as well as you'd like. Whatever the cause, we want to know things will work out for the best. It's hideously difficult being the only one having a nasty time of life. Even if it's only a story, it's good to have company.

Yes, you can indeed find peace, no matter what's going on. But, peace is often hard won. The movies I mentioned are very difficult, and I'm sure you'll cry a lot watching them. Yet, they are true stories (even if they have been fictionalized). The old saying of, "It's all in your perspective," is a realistic viewpoint. Heroism isn't far removed from finding peace in your situation. It's in that moment when you decide you will survive or go in the ground. Life is worth the fight, and I bet we'll all agree that it's a whole lot better to live in peace.

- M

Why do we sometimes label characters as "deep" and "complex" and not others?

Carl Spitzweg's "The Bookworm"

I've noticed a trend in storytelling of providing extensive history and backstory for fantasy and science fiction worlds. The question is: how much is needed? One of my favorite characters in all stories is "Luke Skywalker." Ask yourself how much we know about this farm boy? Well, nothing beyond a vague reference to a father Obi Wan knew (and that Luke is a good pilot). Yet, the audience has no trouble at all with accepting Luke for what he is. The fact that there's no history and backstory doesn't matter, because we understand what Luke's goals and motivations are.

Some fiction worlds are vast, such as Tolkien's "Middle Earth," Martin's "Westeros", and Niven's "Known Space." Each of these universes have huge histories and that backstory impacts the stories. While such massive history is undeniably interesting, does it automatically grant complex and deep characters? Nope. I've found that these terms are a bit ... misguided. How do you quantify such a determination? You really can't. In my thinking, these terms are gauges of the strength of our connection to the characters. If that connection is strong, then we tend to think the characters deep and vibrant. If we don't care, then what does it matter if they have extensive backstories? Do we know what the character's goals are and why they want them?

New writers are often told to give their characters a quirk and a physical description. Why? Well, the audience needs something to remind them of the important people--pick well and those quirks can become the only history you need. Think of "Indiana Jones" ... did you immediately remember how he pulled his gun and shot the sword fighter? Funny thing, that scene was improvised--an extensive sword fight was to ensue, but the director loved the improv and so history was made. On the opposite end, we have "Charles Foster Kane" from "Citizen Kane" and we literally see his entire life, and the effect is immense--the movie often considered the greatest movie ever made--and it's because the audience knows all about him.

My point is not to discourage histories and backstory, only to caution that like any big undertaking you need to have a reason for what you do. If it adds value to the story, then go for it, but don't do so simply because it's expected.

- M

Eyeglass cleaners are a sign of an advanced civilization

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I wear eyeglasses, and I frequently need to clean them. There are plenty of methods available: bottom of your shirt, facial tissue, lint-free cleaning clothes, solution-soaked wipes, spray solutions, and the good-ole spit and polish. What matters is that whatever you use, your glasses need to wind up clean. The trouble I've found is that there's usually a sheen of oil on the inside and only a good cleaner will take it away.

 

The wonders of civilization are numerous. We normally point to the major things, like electricity and so on, but I think it's the little conveniences that are the true wonders. I wonder how long we'd live without can openers, or cigarette lighters (mainly for their fire starting ability), and even something as simple as comfortable shoes. Have you ever considered just how much of our daily lives are thanks to cheap plastics? What about drinkable water? And, what about that chair you're sitting on?

 

I'm trying to point out that we take a lot of things for granted. It's easy to think that all these conveniences will always be there, no matter what. But, things aren't like this everywhere. Many places don't even have clean water from a tap, or electricity, or proper sanitation. There are incredible people and organizations who's sole purpose in life is to bring these modern things to the people without them. That's pretty amazing.

 

So, yes, eyeglass cleaner is incredible and I won't take it for granted ... I promise.

 

- M

Taking down memories

It's time to take down our Christmas tree. Sigh. It's a testimony to the power of symbols that a decorated fake tree can mean so very much. There's quite a few ornaments we've collected through the years, and it's neat to see them out once a year. We place our memories for all to see, and for us to enjoy. In what other ways do we do the same thing? Pictures? Paintings? Stories? Keepsakes?

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We spend a big part of our lives on memories. To my mind they're one of the few things we can take with us anywhere. And, when our personal memories jump the tracks, we have baubles and photos to guide us back. So, are we afraid to lose them? No, we want to share. I've often spoken about our human desires for connections between each other. Physical memories are another way of creating those connections. I have a memory box on my desk, which has all kinds of little things with huge memories attached to them. I can easily talk for a long time about every object inside my little box, and often enjoy simply reminiscing.

 

So, yes, I'll pack up our tree and store it until the end of the year. Then, we'll put it back up and hang the ornaments and relive a few welcome memories. It's a tradition, but it's also fun. True, there are memories I don't want to relive, but hopefully those are few and far between. I pray that you all have plenty of good memories and happy thoughts. And may you all have a wonderful year.

 

- M

Welcome to the year 2017 ...

A new year is upon us! Already. Now. Traditionally, it's a time to scrape yourself off the pavement of life and bounce back with new vigor and purpose. It's a fresh start. Everybody likes new beginnings, when you can forget the past and look to a bright new future. Sure, we've all made mistakes, but why dwell on them? Forge a new path and find yourself a new star!

 

Platitudes aside, it's great to make plans and set goals. I heartily encourage doing so. Without having something to aim at, how do you know when you've hit it? But, do make realistic goals (though, don't let anyone tell you that your goal is impossible if you truly believe it is achievable) like being the first person to swim in the Sun ... *grin*.

 

Of course, there's no reason we must wait until the beginning of a new year to make such changes and goals, but we do tend to do it that way. Oh well. I hope and pray it's a great year. Maybe this is the year we get flying cars, or quantum computers, and maybe we'll finally send people to Mars! Ah, such hopes are everlasting.

 

- M