Days fly by so fast now, I wonder why I ever thought time went by slowly?

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Today is Tuesday? Wow, what happened to Monday? Wait ... did I go to work?

 

When I was younger, it seemed like the calendar never made it to Saturday. Clocks had painted-on dials. And, my dad's lectures would never end (yup, my children, I know the feeling well--it's my pleasure to pass it along). Somewhere along the line of my life, time has shifted its nature and turned into a cannonball that refuses to slow down. I close my eyes for a little rest and open them just in time to go to bed. I enjoy my weekend, only to discover I missed my blog post and it's Tuesday. And, I go to turn the page on my calendar, only to realize I'm three months behind!

 

Yes, little children, old people really do experience time in a strange manner. I'm not sure how it works, but somehow time behaves at radically different speeds. Maybe if Einstein had worked on my time theory we could have even greater discoveries beyond the measley E=MC(squared)--yes, that's a joke, but maybe we'd find out where socks go in the dryer because their behavior isn't possible either. Sure, I'm fully aware it's all in how we pay attention, yet there is a definite truism that as you age you'll find time passing swifter and faster as it rushes along.

 

It's enjoyable to poke fun at how we experience time. Yup, boring tasks take forever, whereas a wonderful swimming pool party lasts only moments. When we are fully engaged at work and busy, time is fleeting, but toss a load of dull things to do and the clock never moves. If you've noticed, there aren't clocks in doctor's offices--because if there were, you'd easily notice how long you've been waiting. How about the snooze feature of alarms? Why is it there? Does an extra 5 minutes of sleep really matter? If not, then why do we hit snooze? If it does, then why set the alarm so early? I know people who set their clock 10 minutes fast, so they trick themselves into thinking they're almost late ... they also probably play a great game of Hide and Seek with themselves...

 

- M

Love stories don't have to be sappy, it just helps...

I'm a guy, and being a guy I can't say I fully understand why romance stories are so popular. Yes, I'm talking about the drippy, icky, and overly emotional sob stories we see on the shelves at the local supermarkets. It's a huge market. Don't get me wrong, I adore a good romance story and have cried waterfalls. But, I think there's a lot more to love stories than spiraling emotion and yearnings. Classic literature bears this out, as "Romeo and Juliet" is considered one of the greatest romances ever told (yes, it has it's sappy moments--balcony scene, I'm looking at you), and there is far more going on that simple attraction.

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We live lives surrounded by distractions, interruptions, imperfections, and failure. Stories lift us up from such things for a time, and so we want those tales to be more than real. Love is a universal yearning. The joy of romance is the wealth of feelings engendered. Watching someone in the throes of new love is like watching an illness take hold and ravage a body. If you didn't know the source, you'd think the person actually ill and take them to the doctor. Yup, love compares to being sick very well.

 

I think, despite sappy successes, that we truly want stories which drive below the surface and give us something deep and powerful. Stories like those will last in the hearts of everyone who experienced them. We long remember loves, probably more so than pain. Humans want to love and be loved. It's natural. As the saying goes, "Give them what they want."

 

- M

Breakfast, the best way to wake up the morning!

Yes, this is actually toasted bread
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How did waking up become so complicated? Now, I'm racing around, finding the right socks, putting on deodorant, looking for my keys, and scrambling to stuff eggs down my throat. I'm told that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but wow is it a busy one! I'm sure it'd be less hectic if I woke up earlier, set things out the previous night, and maybe hit the snooze button fewer times. Yup, that'll happen...

I've read that chefs have a special place in their heart for breakfast. Not sure if it's a good place or a bad place, but breakfast sure has a powerful bunch of different ways to do it. One day I'd love to try out the Eggs Benedict dish (I'm not terribly sophisticated), or maybe an Irish breakfast. I do enjoy eggs, so anything including them is a winner in my book. I hesitate to use the word, "exotic," because different cultures hardly think their own food is odd, but I am happy to try anything new at least once. I won't guarantee I will actually consume the items, though I will give it a hearty tasting.

 

Now, the best ever breakfast is the one served to you in bed. Yup, breakfast in bed. That is the bee's knees, the ultimate, the greatest experience ever. At least, until you spill your orange juice and feel it sloshing between your thighs. Amazing how sticky juice is, and how hard it is to convince your wife it was an accident and won't ever happen again. Maybe I should have used a tray. Hmm. Well, it's definitely a great gift to give you wife! Women love having their men cook for them (my relationship advice for today).

 

Remember, breakfast is important and don't you dare neglect it. A piece of buttered toast doesn't count...

 

- M

Take me to the heights of beauty and power, give me music.

Since the earliest days I can remember, I've listened to music. It's taught me about beauty, form, majesty, imagination, power, suffering, pain, loss, and basically every emotion possible to conceive. If there's one thing that separates us from the animals, I think it's our ability to create music. Have you ever really thought about how complicated a simple song is? Then consider a symphony! Yes, music is a language, but I think music is capable of expression far beyond any form of spoken language. There's depth of feeling you cannot otherwise create, accompanied by a force which tears the soul and builds it up again.

 

When I learn of another culture, one of the first things I want to know is their music. We all gravitate toward what we enjoy and like, so our preferred music is an expression of ourselves. Actually, it's probably safe to say that a culture's art is a glimpse into the culture's very soul. NASA sent a record (gold "vinyl" LP album) with lots of music into space--yes, there's more to it, but music is racing through the cosmos as you read this.

The "Voyager Golden Record"

There've been times I wished I could write music, but I'm not jealous or upset that I don't. I can create fun little tunes with whistling and that keeps me happy. By the way, if you haven't learned to whistle then you must begin right now and get a taste of true musical freedom. I'm in awe of the people who create my favorite music. You can quickly discern if music has true emotion behind it, or is only faking it. The human ear detects fakery quickly and harshly (which may be why AutoTune is disliked). I suggest getting a grand musical composition and spending some time alone, listening and enjoying the music.

 

- M

Trials and tests, the fun of questing!

Why do so many classic stories involve people going on quests? Knights quest to save fair maidens, hobbits steal mountains away from fire breathing dragons, or minstrels go to the Underworld to retrieve lost loves. What makes questing so popular? And, more importantly, why do these stories do so well in the popular imagination?

 

Stories do change with time--mainly because sensibilities and desires change--yet there are frameworks that never change. The "Hero's Journey" is one and so is questing. You see, when there is a clear goal and clear opposition, the story just drapes right over the structure and the audience follows along easily. We understand how it works, even at very early ages. "The Hobbit" is a quest story, and is particularly enjoyable to younger readers. There's a magic ring, a dragon, heroes, villains, scary and funny, joy and conquest. Mix in a few surprises, and nearly any quest will gain you an audience.

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I think what really motivates people is goals. Okay, sure, not exactly breaking news, yet we forget how important goals are to everybody. Readers and audiences alike. When the goals are crystal clear, then the audience has a vested interest in following along and rooting the heroes ahead. We want to see them succeed, otherwise why would we even take the interest to follow? Give characters something to race toward, and they will take you on a journey of satisfaction! Now, go find the Crystal of Awesomeness and return it to the King, before the twelfth Moon sets!

 

- M

Give me dentures, or I'll gum your earlobes off!

My, what nice teeth you have, grandma!

Incredibly, false teeth have been around for centuries. Apparently, Egyptians wired real teeth together with gold. Ancient Mexicans used wolf teeth, jamming them into the empty sockets of the happy victims. Japan has the oldest known dentures, made from the Japanese Box tree and were worn by a princess. In the United States, George Washington had a set of ivory dentures. Losing your teeth isn't the end of the world.

 

Back when I was a kid, I loved seeing elderly pop out their teeth and show them to me. It was like a magic trick. Plus, there was the hilarity of seeing grandma drop her choppers into the Christmas pie. Yup, lots of fun. Now that I'm older, those events aren't quite as amusing, though I still laugh when funny videos show it. Sure, buying a new set is a definite pain, so that's not funny at all.

 

What's really impressive is how adaptable we human beings are. I can't imagine shoving a wolf's tooth into my jaw, yet there were those who have. It just goes to show how far we are willing to go, just to fix an injury or make things right. Maybe that's another part of the magic of the human spirit: going to incredible lengths to fix the broken.

 

- M

Squirrels are fascinating.

Ever since the movie, "Up," made blurting out, "squirrel," popular, I've been gathering little tidbits of information. Amazingly, the little furry critters have quite a strange mythology attached to them. Did you know that Norse mythology--ye olde stories of Thor and Odin--have a magical squirrel? Yup, it was called "Ratatoskr" and was a messenger for Odin, but mainly ran around and spread cruel gossip. Squirrels are in many cultures, though commonly as accusers--I'm probably not the only one who thinks squirrels are always throwing accusations my direction when I scare them up a tree.

 

Marvel comics has a "Squirrel Girl" superhero. People frequently keep them as pets. Plus, squirrels are immensely fun to watch. They are so wound up, skittish, jerky in motion and completely insane. In stories, they are the ones who jump at the slightest sound and have the attention span of an amoeba. The portrayal in "Over the Hedge" is my favorite of all squirrels--in particular, the part where the squirrel drinks an energy drink and then can move like the Flash.

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I think the joy of watching squirrels is because there is pure innocence in them. You can't help but laugh at their antics. When they go for the bird feeder, they demonstrate incredible agility and resourcefulness. If you've ever seen videos of the off-balance wheel attached to some feeders, you'll know what I mean. You can't help but laugh. And, the best part is seeing the squirrel chattering up at the silly feeder, as though the squirrel is issuing a very stern warning. Cute and adorable and endlessly amusing.

 

- M

 

..... Squirrel!

Tribute to all the repair people out there!

Mechanics, appliance repair, HVAC, roofers, and every other type of repair occupation, I salute you all. You are there at some of our most trying times. Well, at least our most complaining times. I'm sure you hear more complaints per day than the rest of us can imagine. We are currently dealing with our air conditioner deciding against being in working order. I can't say I cried when I called in for the repair, but I practically begged them to come out today (after all, these things seem always to happen on weekends rather than conveniently during the week).

 

You all are so willing to squeeze in one more desperate customer, even when your days are already filled to overflowing. It must be a terrific juggling act. Yes, you're well paid for your efforts, but I still think a thank you is deserved. People tend to only thank once the trouble is solved. I wanted to preempt that and give thanks simply for your availability. Services occupations can be difficult, thankless, and generally disheartening. I thank you all. Without your willingness, this would be a much darker place.

 

Isn't it odd how the celebrated jobs are hardly ever service jobs? Young children want to be astronauts, firemen, Formula 1 racers, and other exciting things, but I can't say I've ever heard a kid say, "Yup, I'm going to repair air conditioners for a living!" Maybe you would if your parents did, but it's just not a glamorous profession. Perhaps that will change, but so long as entertainers and athletes capture the spotlight, I doubt it. Until then, I tip my hat to all the heroic repair crews and give my heartfelt thanks!

 

- M

Olympic Games: Risk takers look great in mud and gold in equal measure.

2016 Olympic gold medal

As the world watches the Olympics, it occurs to me how great a risk these athletes are taking. We've already seen incredible feats of daring, and shocking disasters. I'm sure people ask, "Why take the risk?" Think about this, only three people win ... 1st, 2nd, 3rd place. Everyone else loses, to varying degrees. That's a pretty crushing prospect. So, why even try, since the vast majority fail?

Because somebody will most certainly win!

 

If I'm racing, then I fully expect it'll be me. How about you?

 

So, the better question is, "Why compete at all, if you expect to lose?" It's likely that no athlete in the Olympic Games ever expected to fail, but rather expected to stand in 1st place. These are champions, each and every one, and champions demand the very best of themselves. They see themselves as absolute victors before the race ever begins. I think that's what makes watching the Olympics so exciting. We don't often see a field of champions arranged to fight for a single goal. Usually, there are a handful of champions and the rest are just playing. Champions inspire. Champions strive. Champions accomplish.

 

Yes, champions fail. Yet, failure does not define a champion. If anything, the definition of a champion is the willingness to slog through a field of mud for the opportunity to try. I'm in awe of these Olympic athletes! The sacrifices they've made, for literally years, just for a few seconds of actual competition is almost beyond belief. Courage, determination, sacrifice, pain and glory. Champions risk for the opportunity to try and catch hold of the trophy. How can anyone look on them an not wonder if we have the heart to do the same?

 

- M

Pikachu, I choose you!

People sometimes question to what degree games affect us. Probably most people accept the idea of stories deeply touching our lives, so it shouldn't surprise us when games do the same. You see, games activate huge areas of our brains. What is a story? In its simplest form, it has a beginning, middle and end. Games do exactly that. The player themselves are the main character, and discover incredibly sympathetic feelings during the course of gameplay. Story blooms from the interaction between player and game.

 

The world is still reeling from the massive success of Pokémon GO. I think it's fair to say nobody saw it coming. Sure, the concept is to get people out and active, socializing, and interacting beyond the game itself. I won't dwell on the misuse of these interactions, but it does exist (the game being played in the real world could hardly prevent it). Focusing on the positives, Pokémon GO has indeed taken gamers out of their bedrooms and into the world, racing about to capture creatures and gyms with fanatical eagerness.

 

Playing games activates our brains, our bodies, and our lives. The stories players develop can last a lifetime. I still love meeting friends and talking about games we played and the stories we created while we played. As we talk, the experiences rush back into the present and we mutually relive them. To me, that's the best part of playing games with others.

 

Remember, stories don't have to only be in books and movies. Games are stories too.

 

- M

Taking out the trash, and other happy things ...

I love how we change up things we don't necessarily like doing into things that are fun. The phrase, "taking out the trash," can mean disposing of discarded items, but also removing unwanted pests (typically said in a macho kind of way). "Burning down the house," is another seemingly cruel phrase that turns into a hip and cool one when used to describe a great party. Yup, my examples tend toward the dated, but there's plenty of others.

 

Maybe it's because we enjoy playing word games, or fiddling with expectations, and basically creating a bit of chaos for the sake of fun. Yup, just like us crazy humans to ignore our own language. Puzzle books use this principle to challenge our thinking. Comedians play with words to make us laugh. And, dictionaries struggle to keep pace as we fiddle constantly.

 

There's so much joy in words. I wish more of us understood that. Until then, that's why we have creative types to jiggle our fancies with new usages and thoughts. And, maybe we'll also find ways to turn bad things into good, just by using a bit of mental fidgeting.

 

- M

Heat! Wow am I happy for air conditioning!

Some things we just take for granted, until they break and you're left without them. Air conditioning is one of those. Like many people, I'm sensitive to heat (following sun strokes and heat strokes), so I love it when it's cool. But, when the wonderful machinery goes kaplooey, it really highlights how much I take modern comforts for granted. Also, I want it fixed NOW! Yup, I'm impatient about my comforts.

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That got me thinking about how many other conveniences have moved into the category of need for us city dwellers. I certainly couldn't catch my own food, or build my own house, or even send coherent messages long distance without modern equipment. It's amazing how fast we become slow and inefficient ourselves--while at the same time expecting others to do such things faster and faster. I can't say I like knowing that about myself, but at least I'm aware. With that awareness comes a duty to learn (I've got some great books on survival, that I'll read at some point...).

 

My question is this: what conveniences have become needs for you? How would you fare if suddenly all your electricity was cut and you were left to your own devices? Studies don't paint a favorable view. So, be happy for what we have now. Take care of your equipment, and learn how to make do without. Enjoy life, whatever state you find yourself in.

 

Oh, and stay out of the heat!

 

- M