Swear to me!

Movie tough guys are constantly roughing up baddies and demanding information. One of my favorites lines is when they say, "Swear to me!" Yup. That'll work. Terrified people will admit to anything. But, you also get the opposite end, where someone swears on their mother's grave. In this instance, the oath is a mighty pledge based on honor and reverence. Isn't it interesting how the same statement can be so different in context? That's one of the big reasons language is so difficult to decipher and is among the best secret codes you can make (I love making secret codes).

Batman being tough in "Batman Begins"

The funny thing is, we do this sort of thing constantly. Sarcasm is the fine art of saying what you don't mean and implying something else. Humor is a slippery subject, but I think we can all agree it's better to laugh than sulk. Don't take life too seriously. There's so much hilarity around us, and we fail to notice it most of the time. Swear to me you'll open your eyes! Swear to me!

Ha. That's actually lots of fun to say, though I can't imagine myself being a tough guy who punches baddies in the throat--I'm just a big cuddly teddy bear. Well, I doubt movies will change this sort of thing, but we can still laugh. That's the thing about language anyway, sometimes it's just too strange to take seriously. So, paste a smile on your face and just go along with it.

- M

Coughing up a lung

We use some very descriptive, albeit strange, phrases when we talk about our problems. Severe coughing can be, "coughing up a lung." Extreme tiredness is, "dog tired." Being very sleepy is, "falling asleep, standing up." The list could nearly go on forever. For some reason, we love to not only exaggerate, but provide ridiculous extremes. Have you ever seen someone "sleep like a log?" ... that is, sleeping so heavily they're hard to wake up.

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There's a deep reason we use these phrases, it's because we want other people to understand not only the physical issues but the associated emotions. We want others to experience the same thing, and ridiculously over-the-top phrases help that happen. Also, I believe there's a deep sense of playfulness in all our languages. We love to laugh, to have fun, to be silly.

So, next time you find yourself explaining that you're hungry enough to "eat a horse," just smile and acknowledge the exaggeration. The people you're talking with understand what you mean, and won't fault you for the livid imagery. I doubt anyone will take you completely seriously, and if they do then they don't possess a sense of humor. I think everyone should work on laughing, and seek out opportunities to exercise the talent. Just don't laugh yourself to death...

- M

Ode to encyclopedias.

Have encyclopedias gone extinct? What I mean is, do newly graduated high school students even know what they are, or use them at all? With the prevalence of online databases, and knowledge-bases, it seems unlikely any modern students ever use encyclopedias. If so, then that makes me sad. Some of my favorite memories are reading through multiple chapters of encyclopedia information. I love them, and still do ... however, I don't own a set either.

What made these massive tomes so wonderful? They included articles on virtually every subject, with scholarly insight and wonderful detail. I learned about the world, without setting foot outside the library. Wikipedia serves somewhat the same function, albeit to a much greater degree, however it lacks the intimacy of holding a book in your hands and flipping through until something catches your eye. Actually, that's the same reason I miss bookstores--because I can't walk through the aisles and discover new authors.

Finding new information is incredibly easy these days, but you also need to know what you're seeking. Oddly, it's harder to simply peruse and happen upon things that are interesting but unexpected. Sure, there's the "Surprise me" buttons on Google and Wikipedia, but it's not the same. There's no spontaneity to it, just randomness. Still, it's the world we live in now and I doubt it'll change. Perhaps there's still time for me to buy a set of encyclopedias ...

- M

Using cliché and common tropes to your advantage.

As a modern society, enamored with entertainment of all kinds, we've gotten comfortable with certain common things in our stories. Such as: bad guys wear black and good guys wear white, people eating apples are usually rotten, if there's a strange noise the ditzy victim will go investigate a dark room, and so on. I'm not saying these things are necessarily bad, but they are expected and audiences are wise to the tricks. However, if you upset the tropes you will throw your audience into a tailspin of guessing and never knowing what is actually about to happen.

It's all about expectation. Stories should delight and wonder, providing escapism and depth of experience. If your blithe victim waltzes into a dark room, then beats the daylights out of the bad guy, it's unexpected and triggers those great mental fireworks that audiences crave. Turn the tables on the common things. Keep abreast of current methods, see what you can do with them, and then change it up. If you allow your own creations to become dull and lifeless, then the stories will as well.

Personally, I love tripping up expectations and watching people flop around, with no good grip on what's going on. If you can accomplish that feat, then your audience will be locked into a struggle they are determined to win. That's the thrill of a great story! You want your audience invested in what's going on to such an extent that they will stay up all night to discover the truth. Finding books and movies which accomplish this is like discovering a perfectly cut gemstone resting on your wallet, with a note saying, "Take me, I'm yours."

- M

Want to be smarter? Learn more words.

Why are poets so widely admired? Knowing great varieties of words allows you to express your thoughts precisely, perhaps even at all. Of course, communication requires your audience to understand those words, but context helps a lot in that area. As an example, consider the idea of hot and cold. At what point do those things become dangerous? If there are no words indicating the degree of peril, then how do you know? Sure, you can use "very" or other adverbs to modify what you're saying, but isn't "searing," "scalding," "freezing," or "numbing" better?

Being well spoken is widely regarded as a sign of intelligence. Sure, it's not a requirement, but it's a very obvious indicator. Something I've noticed is when you increase your vocabulary there's an increase of your interest in the world, and that will make you smarter. Actually, simply adding to your overall knowledge does the same thing, but you won't have the words to express your new wealth of interests.

It's been said that the average English speaker has a vocabulary of around 5,000 to 12,000 words. I'm not sure it's been figured in any accurate way, because there's too many variables (such as dialects, slang, and other words which may or may not count in the final figuring). What I can say is most people have a limited vocabulary to say the least--some being so poor in words as to be effectively broke. Do yourself a favor and get a "Word-a-Day" calendar app. In no time, you'll be using words with pinpoint accuracy. Plus, you'll enjoy the looks of dismay from those around you, as they ask, "what's that word mean?" Trust me, it's fun.

- M

Words have power almost beyond comprehension

In the excellent story "The Book Thief," which is also an equally wonderful movie, the point is made that words are life. Sure, why not? Words have power which is difficult to calculate. Words can cause terror or inspire hope, teach or mystify, grant wonder or steal dreams. Words build societies and tear them down. Can we really limit what words are capable of? Should we?

With all that power, it's possibly that wordsmiths are the most influential people in the world. However, life doesn't follow the same logic. Pity. I'd love to see how the world would be if the most powerful people were science fiction writers. Fun thought, isn't it? We'd finally have real hoverboards, teleporters, and flying cars!

Yes, words are useful and powerful. Becoming proficient with words is a great idea for anyone, particularly since being well-spoken is regarded as a fairly good sign of intelligence (rightfully or not, it's the way the world works). To me, though, words are the givers of wonderful stories and dreamy adventures. Because of words, we have the worlds of Middle Earth and Narnia, the universes of Star Trek and Star Wars. Philosophy wouldn't get far if there weren't people to set it all down with words that made some kind of sense.

So, for my first act as total world dictator, I decree ...

- M

The impressive power of legends

Why do the construction of the Pyramids in Giza still capture worldwide interest? Why does the story of the Titanic sinking make us hold our breath? Do dragons set your mind ablaze? All these things are legends, which means they are based on fact but may not be entirely true. Yes, the Pyramids are obviously true constructions, but how were they made? The Titanic was a real ship and definitely sank, yet how did it all happen? King Arthur is a real historical figure, but are all the tales accurate?

The Great Pyramids

I think the reason these legends have such appeal is due to their inherent mysteries. Legends generally aren't solved beyond all doubt, leaving plenty of room for theories and wild speculations. This makes people want more, whatever the reliability, to gain a better understanding. And so, the legends grow greater and more grand. After a while it's difficult to separate legend from outright myth. What wonderful resources for aspiring authors!

I collect all sorts of reference materials, but particular anything regarding folktales and old stories. You never know when something will jump out at you and demand to be told. The more you pay attention, the greater your ability to draw from experience to fashion your own legends. Plus, you will educate yourself in the process ... it's a win-win scenario!

- M

Describe and visualize the entire universe, in five words ...

How much description is necessary? How perfectly do you need to visualize what's going on? I've read lots of advice about these things, and what it all boils down to is: what feels right. Imagination only needs enough seeds to blossom into far more than the creator ever expected. Epic fantasy and science fiction tend toward expansive descriptions (mainly because they often deal with completely new worlds, and all those things need explanation), while more realistic stories spare description for character looks and behaviors.

Details can make or break scenes. You want the audience to see what you intend, yet not become overwhelmed by every little nook and cranny. It's tough trusting the imagination of your audience, but it's so incredibly rewarding to hear someone talk about what they see despite you never having depicted it. Yes, audiences go beyond what you describe--sometimes completely crafting their own world. The key is sensing what's enough and not too much.

When I was a kid, my favorite books were fantasy, because I loved fashioning everything in my mind's eye and watching the story like a mental movie. I realize not everyone does this, but I bet we all do when it comes to the characters themselves. Unless you're watching a movie, you make up the characters for yourself (which makes seeing a movie based on a book typically annoys people, as the actors don't look quite right). Trust your audiences. Give them the imaginative seeds and then turn them loose to run with it. But, don't give too little and expect miracles.

- M

Colloquial witticisms, or learning your own language all over again

Here in America there's a lot of fun to be had by going to different states and finding out that despite them speaking the same language, you can't figure out what it is they're actually saying. Typically this means using phrases can be wildly different, or the way things are said are strange, and probably words also don't mean the same things. My favorite example is soda pop, or cola, or pop, or Coke, or fizzy drinks. All those words describe the same carbonated sweet beverage. Comedians have made lots of money making fun of this reality, and like any good humor the truth makes it hilarious.

It's interesting to me how varied language is. English is my language, yet there's dozens of dialects and completely different vocabularies used throughout the world. I particularly enjoy the British and Australian versions, and love picking up new uses of words (or entirely new ones). I can only assume that other languages are the same way. Human beings just aren't content to leave things alone, and are sure to come up with new ways of doing anything--just think of how many times the wheel has been reinvented?



Yup, clear as mud. Am I supposed to read this in passing, or sit and work it out on my own time?

Of course, this can also cause unexpected confusion. If you're in the southern part of the United States and ask for a Coke, you might be asked which one you want? (Hint: if you want Coca Cola, ask for that instead.) This is a simple example, but imagine asking for directions and getting a detailed answer that doesn't appear correct as you follow it. Probably whoever gave you help used colloquial words specific to the region. Pity you didn't know them. Isn't that funny? Yup, I'm laughing my sides off as I haul off and belt down a good one...

- M

Clichés and Tropes aren't necessarily bad.

Clichés and Tropes aren't necessarily bad. Yes, they become cliché after they've been overused and misused, but they are used so much because the original idea is good--if not great. One you can see in virtually any horror/suspense movie is the "jump scare." A surprising event, accompanied by a loud bang, and your flinch and feel a moment of terror. This is so common, that people expect it and now authors are reducing the use. If a trope is overused, then it looses it's impact.

Trope: The mighty hero is actually a coward
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Good ideas deserve good setup. Use what you want, but give the ideas purpose and intent. Don't just throw things in because they've worked in the past. Have a reason. This is my own writing philosophy: everything should have a purpose, or it shouldn't be in the story. Even fluffy, silly, goofy things have a use, such as building characterization. But, just tossing something in because it's worked for others isn't enough, and it'll fall flat. Just like jump scares no longer terrify, they only startle and all tension is thereby released.

 

The new Star Wars movie is absolutely loaded with cliché and tropes, yet they are great fun. I think they were mostly used well, and they worked. Plus, seeing how the movie broke earning records, I think the public agrees. We shouldn't be afraid to use ideas. There's plenty of success to be found in taking risks. Still, take caution when you use a well-understood and possibly overused concept--the audience is already wise to what's going on, so you better set it up well or it'll fall dead flat.

 

- M

Taking out the trash, and other happy things ...

I love how we change up things we don't necessarily like doing into things that are fun. The phrase, "taking out the trash," can mean disposing of discarded items, but also removing unwanted pests (typically said in a macho kind of way). "Burning down the house," is another seemingly cruel phrase that turns into a hip and cool one when used to describe a great party. Yup, my examples tend toward the dated, but there's plenty of others.

 

Maybe it's because we enjoy playing word games, or fiddling with expectations, and basically creating a bit of chaos for the sake of fun. Yup, just like us crazy humans to ignore our own language. Puzzle books use this principle to challenge our thinking. Comedians play with words to make us laugh. And, dictionaries struggle to keep pace as we fiddle constantly.

 

There's so much joy in words. I wish more of us understood that. Until then, that's why we have creative types to jiggle our fancies with new usages and thoughts. And, maybe we'll also find ways to turn bad things into good, just by using a bit of mental fidgeting.

 

- M

Communication means more than words, right?

When I first learned to read and write, I remember a teacher telling me that words are only good so long as people understand them. True. Grammar and good word choices are important, but don't let those get in the way of communicating what you intend. The amazing thing about words is they allow messages and stories to transcend time and place. Tales from ancient Greeks are easily understood today, just like they were back then. Isn't that incredible? I think so.

Naturally, there's more to communication than mere words. Studies have shown that words make up less than 20% of communication, with the majority being body language, manner and context in which the words are said. If the visual components are available, then actual words become less important. Yet, words remain crucial, because without them no elaborate communication takes place (there's only so much you can do with hand signals, right?). Sign language combines the two, of course.

 

Learning how to use words effectively is one of the major triumphs of civilization. Words pass along knowledge, ideas, philosophy, hopes and dreams. Understand a language's words and you'll get a peek into the culture behind it. And, I think there's no better way to do that than enjoying the stories and tales created by those civilizations. I love fun and imaginative wonderment. Other cultures widen our experiences and provide insight into our own.

 

All with words.

 

- M

Letting the cat out of the bag.

Right now I'm on a kick of finding my own verbal crutches and overused phrases. It's surprising and a bit disturbing to find trends in my vocabulary. If you're not sure what I mean, think of the word, "Like," that gets used so much in regular talking. Take this sentence for instance, "I wanted to go, like so bad." The sentence doesn't need the word at all, but it's stuck in there just because. While speaking, many people will use a variant of "um" to fill in awkward gaps.

In editing, these things are taken out, to make written sentences more readable and kind on the ears (I can't be the only one who reads out loud in the confines of their own head). I've read a few stories which attempt to capture actual spoken words, in quirky dialogue--can't say I'm a fan of this technique--but it does demonstrate how badly we all talk. I do find it interesting how uncomfortable this is to read, while it's fine in a movie. Well, there's a big difference when we're forced to interpret the words ourselves, rather than hearing it spoken--at least, that's my current theory.

And then we come around to phrases. Every culture has sentence fragments which encapsulate entire conversations in spare few words. For anyone within the culture, this makes communication easier and quicker. But, outsiders are clueless--"out in the dark" is how my culture says it. So, it can be dangerous to include these in stories, yet also obviously should be included to match the setting. It's a difficult task to juggle, and is one of the hallmarks of great storytellers.

So, let's see if this lead balloon can fly and knock out two birds with one stone...

- M

Sick as ... a dog?

Why do we gravitate toward odd phrases and expressions? Currently, sick as a dog fits pretty well (yeah, yucky ickiness and awfulness). It's entertaining to search and discover where these phrases come from, such as "raining cats and dogs" or "cute as a button" and even "couch potato." There's a story behind every one, though not always a story everyone agrees with. In my studies, I've learned that some phrases just appear and nobody knows where. I'm reminded of phrases we used in high school that apparently never made it beyond our school.

 

 

Personally, I think we enjoy coming up with phrases that embrace a whole lot of emotions in a few words. It's actually a way of connecting with others and sharing common experience. The idea has been shown many times, and the one that I think of immediately was in a Star Trek: The Next Generation episode where Captain Picard had to learn how to communicate with an alien who only spoke in phrases (so the universal communicator couldn't interpret correctly, because all it did was decipher the words and not the meaning), such as "Shaka, when the walls fell" (which we figure out means failure). It's a neat concept, and was a fun episode.

 

We also have our own private phrases--commonly called "inside jokes"--that allow good friends to communicate with subtle clues, gestures, and snarky words to completely mystify everyone else to the profound amusement of the participants. This is most fun at large gatherings, where people are most likely to wander away and shake their heads at you. It's even better when things kind of make sense, so people nod and smile, but have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. It's fun. You should try it!

 

- M

Happy, fun, silly, bubble ... some words are just great to say.

Do some words make you giggle? Maybe tease your ears a bit and wobble around your brain for a while? English is a funny language after all, just ask any comedian (especially if they're originally from another country). I've often wondered if some of our vocabulary is created simply because it's amusing and likable. How else can we explain things like "abbreviated" being so long?

 

My current favorite is "sprinkle" and right behind it is "bubble." I love saying those words. There's a tiny child in me that giggles crazily whenever I hear them (such as hearing Karen Carpenter singing "Close to You"; just listen, she's so amazingly happy when she says, "sprinkle"). My list is constantly changing, especially as I use and learn more words. I urge you all to find your own favorites and enjoy them.

Mary Poppins doing her magical best

And then we get to the completely ridiculous side of the spectrum with fully made up words, like Mary Poppins, "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" (yes, I had to look that one up, yeesh). These I don't mind so much, because they're clearly a joke and meant to be funny. Popular culture also tries making new words, with random success as far as I can tell. When it comes to words, there's no limit to the wackery involved ... see, I just made a new word!

 

- M

Bubble and Billow, Woohoo and Yippee. Some words are just fun to say.

Bubbles, tiny bubbles!

Every language has fun little words. In English, there's "bubble." Just saying it brings a smile to your face, and memories of younger days to your mind. But, it's more than that. The word itself is fun. Not like "coal" or "garden." Fine words they are, but there is something special about "bubble." How about "billow" or shouts of acclimation such as "woohoo" or "yippee!" There's lots of others, but these four always bring a chuckle and a grin.

Language is an oddly comforting ability. On one hand it's a method of necessary communication, blunt and to the point, and on the other it's poetry and song. People can play language as if it were a fine instrument, plucking heartstrings as they tickle our ears. It's interesting how specific language, such as Eskimos having many words for "snow." Depending on the culture and environment, the language is fine tuned to fit the culture. After all, how important would words for waterfalls be in a place with nearly zero rain?

I think it's a real tragedy that most people have a fairly limited vocabulary. There are such wonderful words, with precise meanings and nuances. Using words effectively is like playing a symphony, picking and choosing the meanings you want with the barest essentials. One fun game to play is to pick an unusual word and inject it into casual conversation. Nothing like saying, "Well, for verisimilitude's sake, I'd do the opposite." Tee hee. Funny stuff.

- M

Phrases and words no longer used or completely lost.

Ever heard the phrase: look a gift horse in the mouth? Or what about: down to brass tacks. Feel free to search them (in common language, the first means take a gift without examining it for flaws, while the other means you have nothing left). My point is that these lost favor with the English population long ago due to the fact that they reference common situations that no longer have any bearing with modern living. Phrases are like that--they change, grow and evolve.

I'm reminded of an excellent episode from Star Trek: The Next Generation. Captain Pickard gets stranded on a planet with an alien he wants to make a treaty with, but there is no common language or magical universal translator (a silly concept anyway, so the writers had to make sure the good Captain couldn't have one). The episode is called, "Darmok." The fun thing is that the alien uses a language built entirely of phrases like the ones I used before. As an audience, we learn along with the Captain as these two disparate races learn to communicate. It's a fascinating idea, and I wish I saw it used more often.

The phrases we use now will eventually die and fall from use. When people dig up the things of this current culture, they won't have any concept of why these things mattered to us. Imagine how confused a future human will be when they see comedians and parodies ... well, because we all know future people have absolutely no sense of humor at all, right?

- M

Tear, tear, two, too, to. Why is English so hard?

English can be a frustratingly difficult language. It doesn't help that even our basic vowels have exceptions... a, e, i, o, u, and sometimes y. Other languages do have words that are similar in sounds, spellings, or writing. Yet, it sure feels that English is goofy in how often words are impossible to understand without context. Take the word: tear. Now is that like, "a tear fell from my eye." Or, is it "My book has a tear in the cover." Without context, the word is arguably useless, because the meaning is lost.

 

A fast favorite song of mine is "Word Crimes" by Weird Al Yankovic. Here it is:

 

 

I love how he plays with the words, and demonstrates many difficulties English speakers have. I must say, my heart goes out to anyone learning English as a second language. It's not easy. There are tons of exceptions, a massive amount of flat out memorization, and rules that don't even make sense--"i before e, except after c" I'm looking at you. We can blame such nonsense on Old English and all the other places we've taken our words from.

 

But, despite all this, I love English. I find it has words and uses that still delight me. There are so many varieties and such various ways to say the same things that I am happy to know it. Every language expresses thoughts and ideas to others, and there is real beauty in the words. And how words flow from one to another in such intricate dances is a high form of art.

 

- M

But, but, but, and but...

I'm going to admit something, I misuse the blazes out of the word, "but." I'm probably not the only one who does. The dictionary says it means, "on the contrary; yet." Then the dictionary goes on to mention another dozen ways it's used. These days, it seems to me that people use "but" as a synonym for "and" or just as something to join two sentences together. The two halves of the sentence don't even necessarily have to mean anything together.

"I love to eat, but I won't use my fork." (Why the "but?" The "but" isn't refuting anything, it's just there, taking up space, joining the two sentences together.)

Grammar has never been especially easy for me. I have to work at it all the time. I'm quite likely butchering it right now. The funny thing is, I feel that if the sentence is understood then why should it be incorrect? If the audience understands the meaning, then can it be wrong? That's the part I really struggle with, where on one hand it's correct and on the other hand it's clunky. To me words are like a fine flavoring to a rich and wonderful meat sauce. You can use all sorts of things to make it taste great, so why limit yourself to only the standard few?

Language is constantly changing. Sometimes it flows toward a more rigid system, and then it swims right over to a relaxed method. However it's used, I think the important part is everything making sense when it's used. Omnis traductor traditor. "Every translator is a traitor." In other words, check the meanings out yourself. Don't rely on someone else to tell you what things mean. Use that wonderful gift between your ears, deploy that gray matter, and think!

- M

Epicness, what is it really? And, why do words change meaning?

We are living through a trend of epic stuff lately. Epic movies, epic music, epic stories, epic lives. But, what is it really? The dictionary puts it down as: heroic, majestic, impressive, spectacular, or unusual size or extent. Not much help for the modern trend. I'd say that the way it's used these days is to describe anything with bombast, aplomb, or just hyped up. Epic has turned into slang for anything that people really like.

Our English language adapts, changes, and evolves with use. I've shed many tears over words that have terrific meanings but have either fallen from common use, or changed far beyond their original meanings. It's a shame, but I do understand why it happens. Still, a word like "epic" loosing its focus and becoming a synonym for "like" makes me sad. Words have more than meaning, they have flavor and subtlety that makes them special. Imagine the word "tender" becoming another word for "good"? However, the language continues growing and words come about to fill the gaps.

One thing that will help in this area is for people to improve their vocabularies. The average adult has a woefully small vocabulary. It's sad, truly sad, that adults don't pick up dictionaries every now and again and look up a better word. We teach our children to read, use the language properly, and tell them to use proper grammar. When was the last time we did the same? Does learning stop at adulthood? It shouldn't.

So, get out there and learn a new word!

- M