Have you ever done something you knew wasn't a good idea, gotten caught, and then tried to excuse your way out of it? I'll bet we all have. That's an experience in shame. Hopefully nobody believed the excuse, and you accepted just punishment. Congratulations, you've learned a portion of responsibility in how to behave in life. Sadly, I've been noticing a lasting trend toward getting caught and then attacking whoever noticed the indiscretion. Sure, it's no fun being caught when you're up to no good, but the shame you feel is because you know you did wrong. Shame is a good thing. It means you know right from wrong.
In America, the concept of shame has been dwindling for many years, to the point in popular culture that it's rarely even a story point. That's too bad, because it remains one of the finest teaching tools in how to behave in society. If there's no shame, then why not do anything so long as you can get away with it? Shame gives teeth to the boundaries around us. Without it, well, let's say bullies feel very little shame in what they do.
It's hard to encourage shame, because we feel bad and horrid about it. We don't like making others unhappy, or cause hurt, yet without it we lose a lot. It's been said that a train running wild in a field beyond the railways is technically free, but it cannot enjoy such freedom because it runs on rails. We need boundaries within which we thrive. As a society, when we lose shame we lose more than we realize. Like so many life lessons, it hurts to grow and mature. Of course, too much is never good, however, I suggest shame is generally a good thing and useful to a healthy life.
- M
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