Socks, and the untold mystery of their disappearances.

If you've ever done laundry, you've probably come across the weird phenomena of vanishing socks. I'm not sure why it's just socks and not underwear or something else disgusting, but I've never known anyone to miss their pants. I've thought about this dilemma for a long time, and I have some ideas.

First, I don't think socks are magically turning into dust in the dryer--despite how wonderful that theory is, there's not enough lint to make up an entire sock. Also, there are no black holes in the laundry room, because of lots of science reasons and the fact the Earth still exists. I doubt there is a sock monster roaming around either, so I would call that idea 50/50.


Sock mystery by Maria van Bruggen

So, what do I think is happening to these socks? Well, my personal theory is there is a previously unknown form of life which exists only within the confines of a dryer, due to the combination of heat and darkness. It's a kind of bacteria, but has great ability to absorb used cotton and footwear. It's droppings are the static electricity that bafflingly coats our clothes so thickly. This makes the loss of socks directly proportional to the level of static in your laundry. The dryer sheets we throw in to battle static actually absorb the bacteria's droppings and so prevents overwhelming sock loss. The bacteria avoid detection because they have a very hard shell which mimics the look and feel of enamel. The only way I know of to get rid of them is to starve them of socks for a month or two.

Happy hunting, and good luck.

- M

Robotic animals are awesome!

Years ago there was an MIT robotics lab that was making robotic insects. They were modelling their artificial intelligence routines on the basis of how they figured bugs do things. For instance, the individual legs all had their own tiny brains which basically were programmed to make the leg stand up. When the whole thing turned on, the legs stumbled briefly and then all stood up together. It's a marvelous idea, though I haven't seen it recently and so I wonder what ever became of it?

Now, there are robotic fish, sharks, worms, snakes, hummingbirds, bats, and I just saw an article about a bumblebee drone. Scientists find incredible inspiration by copying the animal world. I'm still waiting for my jetpack though--everything I read when I was young promised me jetpacks and flying cars by now! This makes me wonder why they haven't copied plants and rocks yet. There must be something useful in mountains and forests.

Cozmo

Efforts to create a synthetic pet are still pretty wacko though. I think we've all seen the Furby abominations, or the creepy toy dinosaurs that try to talk. There's just something deeply unsettling about a communicating machine trying to be cute and adorable. I don't mind robots, but those toys just make my skin crawl. There is a new bot called "Cozmo" that behaves very similarly to the fun robot "Wall-E" of the movie, and it's cute and fun and really expensive for what it is. Ah well. I do hope one day to have a little robot pet that doesn't wet the bed or chew my shoes.

- M

Gadgets, Tricks, and Toys

Being a technological kind of guy, I love stories with neat gizmos for the people to use. James Bond stories are like that, but I'm thinking of almost any science fiction tale. Technology can make ideas pop and sparkle, though the toys can also take over if you dwell on them overmuch. I suppose it's a fine line to tread, but it's so much fun! As a young boy, I wanted to experience all the hopes of future technology that I could get my hands on. I couldn't get enough.

Ancient stories also used the same principle, though it often amounted to "Deus ex machina," or "god from the machine," which supernaturally assisted the hero and solved desperate problems. These days the concept is considered a cheat, such as having someone suddenly find a gun to protect themselves when no such device was ever established. It decays suspension of disbelief for it to happen too often. Provide too many nifty gadgets and the audience will stop believing the heroes are in any danger at any time. Without that tension, the story falls flat.

Despite the dangers, fancy tricks and technologies are fun to play with. I can't be the only one who waits breathlessly to see the newest James Bond, or Batman, or Mission Impossible gadgets. Most times the things just make tasks easier, like a fancy grappling hook or glass cutter. It makes me think of a wonderful moment during "Batman Begins" where the Batman tosses a spy scope he was using to a little boy. Yup, I wanted to be that kid. Inventing new technology is fun for everyone and I can't get enough of it!

- M

Puzzle me this, Batman...

Ever since reading "The Hobbit," I've loved riddles and puzzles. There's a wonderful simplicity to most riddles that tempt you into thinking they're easy to solve. In Batman comics, the Riddler loves to do goofy, silly, riddles that usually are easy and hard at the same time. In "The Hobbit," Bilbo and Gollum do lyrical, sing-song, riddles that play with words as much as sound. Such riddles are an art form, and I love collecting them. Of course, since they usually fall into categories, you'll eventually discover that many repeat and become too easy to recognize--kind of like a joke where you already know the punch line isn't quite as funny anymore.

Why is it that riddles aren't used in daily life? Wouldn't it make things more interesting? Just imagine going out for dinner, but you have to work out a puzzle before you get a table. Hmm, probably not the best idea, but it would at least be unexpected. How about whoever solves a riddle first, gets the best seat at a play? There might even be a scale for difficulty.

I fully believe in keeping your mind active and in top condition. You need to flex those mental muscles now and again, or you'll lose it. And, having some fun while you exercise is always a good idea. Puzzles don't have to be mindless games on your phone. Find something more complicated and give it a try. You never know, you may find yourself addicted to learning.

- M

Completely mixed up...

Ever have one of those days when you get the day wrong, the time wrong, and can't remember where you parked? I'm not talking about casual forgetfulness, but where you apparently woke up on the wrong planet. I'm not sure why it happens, but I'm sure it's an evil plot against me. Maybe I need a fresh tinfoil hat, or better lead underwear? As they say, you're only paranoid if they don't know you know they're watching. Think about it...

image credit

I think we often become so distracted that our brains just give up and run with it. I can't be the only one who's walked through the house, to the kitchen, and then stood there with a puzzled frown and wondering what I wanted in the kitchen in the first place. At least I've never left my car keys in the refrigerator--though I have washed them. It's only when I'm not paying attention that things go awry.

What's interesting about all this, is just how often it happens and how we're all okay with it. Amazing! I bet if aliens were watching our behavior, they'd think there was some crazy memory plague going on, which nobody cared about curing. It's ridiculous how often we're completely distracted beyond ability for reason. Like going on autopilot and finding yourself walking far away from where you were and no recollection how you got there. We just didn't pay any notice because our thoughts were in the clouds.

It's all in good fun, but don't walk over any open sewer holes. Ouch.

- M

Reading is more important than we realize.

Reading and writing is regarded as a definite sign of an advanced culture. Why? Basically it's because when words are set down in a physical form, they can be studied and reviewed later with utmost accuracy. I've often told my children that if they hear something which seems odd and off, then chase down the source and read it for themselves. There's truth in written words. By learning to read, you enable yourself to make up your own mind about things. Also, reading allows you to step into other worlds of history and fantasy.

Beyond all that, reading engages your mind in ways beyond ordinary experience. Your intelligence grows when you read, your imagination is fertilized, and your ability to understand the world expands. It's inevitable the more you read, the more you think. And, thinking is sadly lacking in our modern society. Plus, you gain fresh ways of expressing yourself, by exposing yourself to new ideas and new words.

Naturally, as a writer, I encourage everyone to read--especially my own books, hint hint, nudge nudge. But, reading is exquisitely important on its own. When something is written, and you read it, then nobody can tell you lies about what it says. You aren't persuaded by illusion so easily. It makes you a better person.

For me, reading is the ultimate escape. I can step through the pages, into a world of wonder and fantasy. Be it science fiction, historical, mystery, thriller, or epic fantasy. I love escaping reality and living somewhere else for a while. It's entertainment. It's fun. And, life is more enjoyable when you don't take it so seriously. Now, go out and read a book!

- M

Duck and Cover, Someone's Looking for Help

How do you take it when someone asks if you're available to possibly help? Often, you're simply too busy to have an opening. But, what if you do? Well, it matters who is doing the asking. Then, it matters what the helping might entail. And then you ask ourselves if you want to interrupt whatever it is you're doing. Are you happy, or feel regret? Congratulations, you're human.

We have a strange response to people wanting help, don't we? If we are the ones asking, we want immediate assistance, yet when someone else asks then we have all kinds of issues we weigh before giving help. Even so, hopefully all this thinking goes right out if there's an actual emergency. In the end, it's probably just as hard to ask for help as it is to give it.

Rodin's "The Thinker"

Curious how we constantly tell our children to take responsibility, to help those in need, and to give generously, yet have such difficulty doing the very same thing in our own lives. Yup, we humans never tire of being illogical and silly. You see, we try to teach the noblest and finest aspects of being human, so reality does slap us in the face now and again. We're flawed. Deeply. But, that doesn't stop us from teaching and expecting the best in everyone.

Funny how complicated it can be just to ask for help with changing a tire, isn't it?

- M