Don't take my picture, I'm hideous.

Do you like having your picture taken? Are you photogenic? Do you think you are? Whatever your response, I'll wager there are times when you hate the resulting picture. We all have a certain amount of vanity when it comes to our appearance (some to greater or lesser degrees). Typically, we like being shown in the best light, and to leave a good impression. Nothing wrong with that. However, I remember some times when people act especially paranoid about even seeing a camera, and that's weird..

Isn't it funny how we don't like hearing ourselves recorded and played back? Or, how our handwriting isn't good when we demonstrate our ability? And, those who judge our performances simply haven't caught us at our best. Yup. Life isn't kind. It's said pictures don't lie, but they also don't give any context or background either. Unless you're recording video before and after, then the fall into the pool is a single moment in time--and doesn't show the filthy dog rushing out and tripping you.

So we have Photoshop, and a vast array of ways to artificially touch up an image, which makes pictures pretty unreliable anymore. You probably have noticed how beauty pictures don't actually reflect reality? That's because ideals of beauty are hilariously out of pace with human physiology. So, there's no need to flinch at our own pictures. Yes, maybe your hair isn't perfect, or the sun is making you squint, or a fly just landed on your nose, but it's really you and there's nothing wrong with it.

(--and we'll still laugh when we see it--)

- M

Paper cut! Someone call the paramedics!

Isn't it amazing how such flimsy pieces of paper can cut so devastatingly? I find paper does a better job of slicing than most razor blades. Actually, a magician wrote a great card magic book called "Cards as Weapons." Anyway, the trouble with paper cuts is they hurt like fire and they take forever to heal. Of course, paper is terrible when you actually want it to cut; it's more of an ambush sort of tool.

image credit



Yesterday, I decided to use another tool in an unusual way. Apparently unhappy with how I was shaving, my razor (5 bladed of course) took issue with my finger and relieved it of a few layers of fingerprint. I was so startled that I couldn't figure out what happened for a minute or two, until blood started flowing and I knew for sure what happened. I was unaware "safety razors" were so cruel. It seems very deceiving to market them as safe when they clearly are capable of serious devilry.

 

I'm sure there are other usually benign tools we have in our daily lives just waiting to pummel, rip, and tear us to pieces. Our houses are filled to the brim with things waiting to send us to the Emergency Room. I refuse to be afraid, to quaver in fear, or to bend to the will of these paltry objects. I am the master of my own domain! Let all paper fear my wrath!

 

- M

The hero always wins in the end -- the problem of invincibility

Particularly in shorter stories, there is a real issue with invincible heroes. Since most stories have a happy ending, it's unlikely the heroes will die--much less lose. Of course, the fun of a story is watching how it all plays out, rather than feeling fear and panic for the safety of characters. Of course, some stories do manage to put their cast in significant peril, yet the "main" heroes are never truly in danger--and that's because the story loses all interest to the audience, if the significant characters are removed. There was a moment in the current "The Flash" television series where they apparently killed off a major character, and I was on the edge of my seat, because I couldn't believe they actually did it ... (I won't spoil what happened, but I admit to disappointment in the decision).

When I watch a Clint Eastwood western, I know for sure that the big gunfight always ends with the hero standing victorious over the fallen villain. I don't mind. I'm there to watch a fun action film, with lots of bang bang and whoop whoops. In this sense, the only danger to the hero is a loss/delay of victory. The audience is hopefully well connected to the heroes, so even a threat to victory is enough tension to propel the story.

So, invincibility is really only one of the troubles occupying the storyteller. Examine the tensions threatening the heroes and you'll see how invincible the heroes really are. Ratchet up the stakes and the audience will still worry and fret over the safety of the heroes. As a replacement for mortal danger, it's not a bad trade-off. Or, you could slay one of the main characters and drop a depth charge in the audience's expectations. Whatever you do, do it with care. A good story deserves nothing less.

- M

What happens when imagination meets reality?

I love stage magic, particularly illusions which happen right in front of your face (typically accomplished with meticulous slight-of-hand). I've learned some tricks, but have never put in the time and effort to truly master the art. I'm dazzled by the performances, though I know enough about how it's done that I find some of the magic fades. I wish it didn't. I miss the awe and wonder.

Actually, I think the looks of amazement you can obtain with a really good trick is second to nothing. Especially with children, who gasp with such astonishment, it's like you get a breath of pure magic simply from being witness. My wife gifted a young girl with a bit of a quiltwork she had completed, and the girl smiled with pure wonder. That's imagination made real. Magic.

Stage magicians rely on our desire for wonder, amazement, and to be willingly baffled. They aren't the only ones though. Writers, painters, musicians, sculptors, cooks, and a host of other professions, all strive to bring a bit of magic to our lives. But, witness the wonders of nature and marvel all the same! Imagination's myriad creations challenge us to see the world in new ways, revealing wonders we never expected and will never forget. If there's one facet of the human being which never fails to give me goose bumps, it's our ability to imagine. What a miracle it is!

- M

To all the fathers, we celebrate you and your efforts. It wasn't all in vain...

My hero. My dad. A bit younger, when his ears where shorter...

How often do we thank our fathers? I'll be forthright and admit I am lacking in that score. My dad is my hero. He is everything I want to be in life: honest, generous, willing to help anyone, loving, caring, and bears the wisdom of the ages as a crown upon his brow. I love my dad. I'm proud of my dad. And, dad, I want to thank you for all you've done, and all you've given up for me and my brother. You are my hero, dad, and always will be.

Fathers demonstrate what it is to be a man to their boys and girls. They show how men respond to women, and what it means to "toughen up and be a man." No, it's not grunting and being abrasive and saying nothing hurts. Fathers are role models in their children's lives, and if you are a father then you know how overwhelmingly humbling that consideration becomes to you. Fathers aren't perfect, but I have a hard time believing my father isn't pretty close to the goal.

Give your father a warm hug. Tell him how much you love him. Show him you care. Let him know and don't ever allow yourself to leave the talking until it's too late. Regret is a horrible thing, so do yourself a favor and give your father a call today!

 

Happy Father's Day!

- M

Crazy mazes are more than just fun, they're part of history.

As a kid, I drew mazes all the time. I even drew one that measured something like 12 sheets of paper (taped together into a 2 x 3 piece), which took me about a week to draw--nobody was willing to attempt it though. In the distant past, labyrinths were used as holy symbols that offered healing and other kinds of magic. But, mazes have also entered stories (like with the minotaur) as places so fiendishly difficult to solve that it's actually impossible to find your way out of them. Because of this background, mazes are usually thought of as really hard.

Is this difficult? Or, is it mind-churningly crazy?

Isn't it funny how quickly we allow ourselves to give up if things are difficult? I'm incredibly competitive, but it's actually tempting to give myself a pass when something is "hard." I've seen this happen to many people, and watch with great interest. Of course, just because we're tempted to quit doesn't make us follow along with the impulse, and hopefully we push through when it's important. Not everything is worth banging your head against the wall just so you can say you finished.

Maybe it's because we dislike being made into fools, so when things are said to be really hard we either go crazy trying to complete the task or shrug and give up. There's a bunch of silly games which double down on this concept and drive it to infinity--basically they make a maze-like arena and create insane difficulties where you are either a god of games or turn into a blithering idiot as you scream at the screen (yep, they're also called "rage games." Play "Cat Mario" and you'll see what I mean). Sometimes difficult is an accurate descriptor and it's wise to pay attention.

- M

Allergies are unkind.

I think nature actively hates me. I somehow am allergic to almost anything that grows--including grass dust. This brings me to another one of my theories. You see, I think there's a connection between how much we run around outside and getting sick from it. When I was a kid, I was outside all the time and loved it. I rolled in straw, ate pebbles, played in mud puddles, and generally frolicked with great aplomb. Now, I'm an indoor hermit and nature hates me. There's a connection.

Okay, I'll admit it's not much a theory as it is pretty much fact. What I wonder is how it happened? When did my allergies cascade to such a level that I can't be outside very much anymore? I still love the outdoors. I enjoy going for walks with my glorious and adorable wife. I want to lay out and watch the clouds roll bye. I'm sad to lose those things. Being indoors too much does hurt your ability to survive in nature, especially regarding your immune system.

We need to get out more. Living indoors is nice and wonderful, but it's reducing our bodies into pathetic jelly globs. Don't let yourself get like me. Get out there and run, play, drink in the sun and strengthen your bodies! You don't want nature to hate you too.

- M

The makings of a legendary villain.

Who is the arch-nemesis of Sherlock Holmes? If you've even had the slightest interest in detective fiction, then I'm sure you know the answer is Professor James Moriarty. Moriarty is the brains behind the villainy in all of London ... or is he? Would it surprise you to discover that Professor Moriarty only appears in two Sherlock Holmes stories? In written order, he appears for the very first time in the final story where he and Sherlock tumble down the Reichenbach Falls to their apparent demise. Moriarty appears once more in a story which is set prior to the other, but is only being interviewed by the police. Incredible, isn't it? Sherlock does mention Moriarty in five other stories. Arguably the most famous arch-nemesis of any fictional story is barely present!

Professor Moriarty, illustration by Sidney Paget, which accompanied the original publication of "The Final Problem"

I believe the reason is because once the audience learns about Moriarty, we seek and find his presence in a lot of Sherlock Holmes adventures. His characterization is laser sharp, absolutely believable, and it's obvious he's a match for the great detective. As an audience, we want to be as smart as Sherlock, so we look for patterns and try to jump ahead of the narrative. The very fact that we do this demonstrates how powerful the character of Moriarty is to us. It's like what Alfred Hitchcock said, "There is no terror in the bang, only the anticipation of it.” Moriarty is the anticipation of trouble.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle absolutely knew what he was doing when he set Moriarty inside only a handful of stories. He knew the audience would immediately look for connections, and by doing so increase the power of the villain. It's an incredible trick to pull off. Whenever an author can get the audience to the heavy lifting, then the story will be all the better for it. It's well worth a study, and even more the stories are fantastic adventures!

- M

Always hope for the best in people.

Will Rogers (Nov. 1879 – Aug. 1935)

The late Will Rogers had a saying, "I never met a man I didn't like." He willingly saw the best in everyone around him, despite their obvious flaws. Will Rogers was famous for many things, but this is the one aspect most people remember. Why is that? Despite reality (and our own despicability), we deeply want people to see us at our best.

I think we crave encouragement, particularly how we can be better than we are. People who see us for the best reinforce this idea. It's very alluring, especially since it's not impossibly distant. We want to be good (well, most of us anyway), and fail over and over and over. Yet, when we meet someone like Will Rogers, we're raised up, given a few puffs of fresh air, and get on with things. It's refreshing. Even better is having a friend who sees the best and ignores the rest--that's true friendship!

Sure, not everyone measures up to the idea, but isn't that the point? When someone encourages you by ignoring the bad and willingly liking you despite it all, they're providing an optimistic appraisal of your qualities. I think we need more of that. Will Rogers had it right. If more of us decided to like the people around us, there'd be less conflict at work and in our daily lives. Sure, it's unrealistic, but I think optimism is a far better way to live than pessimism. Try it. See the good in someone, even when they disappoint you.

- M

I'd do anything for a smile.

Women often ask, "Why'd he do that?" Sure, men will show off for accolades, but a lot of the time it's because they want to get a smile--particularly from their special love interests. Smiles are more than beautiful; smiles are floodlights of magical radiance. When someone smiles directly at you, there's delight and surprise in equal measure. Once you've experienced it, you'll want more and more.

It's been said that any face sporting a smile is beautiful. I heartily agree. Sure, some people are better at smiling, but each smile is worthy. I don't understand people who refuse to smile. It's like they're angry at the world or trying to impress with their solidity. Smiling is friendly, happy, social chocolate. The ability to smile demonstrates more than simple ease, but a willingness to enjoy the company of others.

Why do we smirk at something funny? Why do we smile when we see friends from our childhood? Why do we smile? I submit it's a hearty mix of emotion, fun, care, and enjoyment. Sure, some smile are fake--"wolf smiles"--but, we know the difference. True smiles beam with powerful joy. In many cases, a smile is all the payment people want. So, do your part today, give a smile.

- M

Well, wasn't that convenient...

One aspect of storytelling that's difficult to pull off well, is convenience or coincidence. Most of the time when something ultra convenient occurs, it just falls flat and rings of plot tinkering rather than clever setup. The great Russian writer, Anton Chekhov, had a concept (called "Chekhov's Gun") where if anything is to be used later in the story, it must be introduced at a prior point and then used--he wasn't a fan of the "red herring" concept. It takes time and thought to craft a story with setup and foreshadowing, but the effect is worth the hassle.

Dana Carvey as "The Church Lady"

You see, modern audiences are well versed in distractions and conveniences. While audiences expect surprise and shock, they don't want to roll their eyes when it happens. Somehow, there should be a sense of order, despite the chaos. Done well, the effect withstands subsequent viewings. I think of it like a terrific David Copperfield stage magic trick--no matter how often you see it, the effect continues to amaze and delight). Also, the audience really doesn't want to know how it worked, they just want to enjoy it.

It's tempting to stumble through plot development and pull ideas from anywhere, but it's really easy to write yourself into a corner. When that happens, you either go back and rework it or slap a convenient plot device into the story and artificially save the day. Don't do it. A story can be a magical thing, fully deserving deliberate thought and time in its crafting. Give your audience thrills and spills, without the eye rolling coincidences of plot convenience.

- M