If you've ever done laundry, you've probably come across the weird phenomena of vanishing socks. I'm not sure why it's just socks and not underwear or something else disgusting, but I've never known anyone to miss their pants. I've thought about this dilemma for a long time, and I have some ideas.
First, I don't think socks are magically turning into dust in the dryer--despite how wonderful that theory is, there's not enough lint to make up an entire sock. Also, there are no black holes in the laundry room, because of lots of science reasons and the fact the Earth still exists. I doubt there is a sock monster roaming around either, so I would call that idea 50/50.
So, what do I think is happening to these socks? Well, my personal theory is there is a previously unknown form of life which exists only within the confines of a dryer, due to the combination of heat and darkness. It's a kind of bacteria, but has great ability to absorb used cotton and footwear. It's droppings are the static electricity that bafflingly coats our clothes so thickly. This makes the loss of socks directly proportional to the level of static in your laundry. The dryer sheets we throw in to battle static actually absorb the bacteria's droppings and so prevents overwhelming sock loss. The bacteria avoid detection because they have a very hard shell which mimics the look and feel of enamel. The only way I know of to get rid of them is to starve them of socks for a month or two.
Happy hunting, and good luck.
- M
Reminds me of the "Dark Sink Theory." By the way, how do you know you aren't missing underwear? You know when a sock is missing because the other pair is left. But you wouldn't notice a single "pair" of shorts.
ReplyDeleteTrue, but I'm sure anyway :)
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