Why we always need heroes

When things go wrong, we want heroes to save us. However, we need heroes anyway. We need examples to emulate, people who are greater than we ever hoped to be, living role models who lift us up simply by existing. Heroes provide hope, inspiration, power, excitement, and yearning for greater things. I'm talking about true heroes, who live their lives with passion and purpose, not the fake sort forced upon us by spiteful people. We need heroes to press us forward, guide us, and make us see a better future. Real heroes do all these things.

We don't have to be Superman to be heroes
Superman by Alex Ross

For some reason, our culture loves deconstructing heroes and either destroying or making them worthless. Sure, people are flawed, make mistakes, and generally louse things up. Heroes aren't perfect, and if they were they would be impossible to imitate. It's okay to want to be like them. Battlefield heroes inspire courage, workplace heroes encourage diligence. Heroes are found in every area of life, and I submit they are needed there just as much.

I think we have taken the danger of hero-worship too far. Sure, It's not good to idolize anyone to the point of ridiculousness, but if we only strive to destroy any great example then we lose the value of powerful role models. In an age of no heroes, there is no hope and anyone who tries is torn to ragged bits. Then, we run the risk of passing into the anti-hero, who does all kinds of mischief and does good only as an idle after thought.

We need heroes in our lives. We need to celebrate heroes. We need to once again place heroes in places of honor. And, not just military heroes, but all walks of life. I'd like to nominate my dad as my lifelong hero. Who's yours?

- M

Endless patience

Have you ever watched a cat stalk something? The pure patience of cats, in this regard, is impressive. They sit perfectly still (aside from a twitching tail) and track their victim with their eyes. Slowly, they move into position, glide forward when unobserved, wait and watch. Then, their muscles coil, their body bunches, eyes widen and breathing slows. The moment of attack is unexpected, sudden, and often successful. Being on the wrong end of such activity is unnerving, to say the least.


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This is a visual example of patience. We all have the capacity to wait, but many of us have a hard time doing it. It's likely because when we sit still, we feel the lack of movement in a psychological way. We get jittery, restless, and want to fill the silence with any sort of noise. I've read that if people are subjected to a pure white room, with zero noise at all, they go absolutely nutty. However, you can learn to be patient, and it's a skill well worth developing. Take a pause, catch your breath, and simply let the world whirl past. After a while, you'll find it refreshing to step away from the chaos of modern life.

Isn't it strange how when people actively escape the frenzy of activity, they are considered hermits, or worse? Sure, it's unusual, but why such animosity against people who only want a slower paced life? I don't know the answer to that. What I do know, is we live life at far too great a pace. There's plenty of reason to slow down and enjoy life for what it is. Not everything should be done in a hurry. My wife's father was the greatest example of patience I've ever witnessed, and he remains an inspiration to me to this day.

So, take the time to let the threads of life out of your grasp for a while. Bask in the silence. Pay attention to the world around you. You don't need to be a hunter to have patience, just the willingness. Maybe the results will surprise you, frustrate you, or encourage you. Patience is a worthy skill to develop.

- M

Be careful of the heat, or suffer the consequences.

Perhaps you've heard the term "Sun stroke" or "Heat stroke" in relation to getting too hot out in the sun. Sure, you sweat and are uncomfortable, but how bad is it really? We joke about "sweating like a pig" and just go merrily about our business. In this summer of heavy heat, I feel the need to make sure everyone understands how serious this really is. You see, I used to laugh at the heat and did my best to work despite it and the sweat. Then ... I suffered a real sun stroke (to the point where I stopped sweating, got nauseous, felt chilled, all of it) and then a while later it happened again. As a result, my body became extremely sensitive to heat and I've since had heat exhaustion and heat stroke multiple times. I lost the ability to sweat at all (you might think this is great, but I cannot cool down without a cold shower, and I hope you see how limiting that is to my life), which means air conditioning is quite literally keeping me alive.

I think we forget just how frail our bodies can be, and so we tough it out and think we can will ourselves to be okay. Sure, you can build a tolerance to heat, but not all at once. You need to work up to it, and for those who haven't gotten used to hot climates it is essential that you monitor your body. Drink plenty of water, keep out of the direct sunlight if you can, and pay attention. People who are suffering from the heat aren't fully aware what's happening to them. Watching for heat exhaustion is a buddy affair, and you need to keep each other healthy.

The reason I'm bringing this up now, is I've seen lots of people saying "Just suck it up, there's plenty of people who've been hotter and they're fine." I'm sure that's true. It's also true that people survive being shot in the chest, but I'd still go to the hospital if it happened to me. Don't simplify other people's health concerns. Would you do the same for anyone you care about? I hope not. Remember, we are in this together. Don't let yourself, or others, suffer because of some misplaced sense of toughness.

- M

Fear is a great motivator.

I doubt anybody enjoys being afraid. I'm not talking about spooky stories that give you shivers, but true and stark terror. Being in combat is one example. Finding yourself inside a burning house is another. Adrenalin surges through your system, your hands shake, time slows down, everything becomes very sharp and stark. When you're truly afraid, you search out any possibility to make yourself safe, regardless of how crazy the ideas are. Fear is a fantastic motivator.

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Some professions require people to walk the realm of fear on a daily basis, to charge into the teeth of death itself and not look back. Bravery barely touches the inner fortitude of such men and women. One aspect of heroic stories that I always find fascinating is how the hero finds their bravery. Is it learned, born, forced? Is it like leadership? Perhaps an innate talent or gift?

Perhaps our awe of bravery is tied with our fear of the unknown. I do think it's true that most people idolize extreme bravery, yet also hope they themselves never need to perform such acts. Beating fear is a constant goal, and a good one to be sure, because we human beings hate limitations. We don't like being stopped by our own weakness, so we push at the barrier of fear throughout our lives. Sure, it's good to be afraid of a charging lion or twisting tornadoes, but there are instances where those fears must be faced and overcome. Life isn't safe and never will be, so let your fears motivate you to greater heights.

- M

Leadership and disappointment

As the Man in Black from The Princess Bride says, "Get used to disappointment." We all fail, it's inevitable. It's interesting to watch how leaders handle disappointment. For my example, I'm going to use my father. My dad regularly fixes things and judges the success by how many trips to the hardware store it took (such as, "Well, that was a three-trip job. Yuck."). My dad taught me how disappointment is a normal part of life, and not to get bent out of shape by failure. In fact, failure is an excellent teacher, if you allow it to be. The best leaders recognize this, thrive on it, and teach others not to be limited by it. All that from my dad--that's why he's my hero!

Why bring this up? I've seen over and over how petrified some leaders become when faced with disappointment. Leaders are always in an especially focal spotlight, their choices are dissected by underlings, and constantly second-guessed, yet a leader provides not only authority but guidance. Sure, they don't get everything right--they are human after all and not some super-alien--yet good leaders will wring every last bit of potential out of everyone around them. Leaders are needed to push forward activities, direct the flow of energy, and be the person to blame when it all goes wrong...

I believe anyone can be a leader. The thing to remember is to do your best and have confidence in what you're doing. That doesn't imply perfection, expertise, or even competence (I know plenty of great leaders who are incompetent in areas they manage, but due to great delegation are still effective). Yes, you'll mess things up, but hopefully you'll have more successes the longer you work. So, while you'll be "used to disappointment," you'll also be okay with it, and that's a good thing.

- M

Impossible! Nothing is impossible, my dear sir.

One of my favorite movies, "The Princess Bride," which is imminently quotable, has a great exchange between two of the characters. "Impossible!" says one, and his accomplice responds, "You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means." The implication for the scene is that no matter how seemingly impossible the task, the hero nevertheless presses out a victory. Our own lives are filled with similar examples. We even have a modern phrase exemplifying the concept: "Those claiming it's impossible are drowned out by those accomplishing it."

Sure, there are impossible things: you can't jump to the Moon, live on nothing but air, stop the waves with your fingers, or fly like a bird. However, it depends on your perspective, doesn't it? You could jump onto a spaceship which flies to the Moon, go scuba diving, press a button that lowers a tidal barrier, and let an airplane do the flying. So, thinking beyond your box of limitations opens the impossible to new competition. Here's a question: are you allowing your current circumstances to dictate your possibilities?

It's truly incredible how often we are wrong when we claim something is impossible. People are constantly leapfrogging beyond limitations, finding new heights, and forging new frontiers. Take caution when you call something impossible. Perhaps you simply haven't given the idea a true opportunity. Impossible is frequently a cheap way out of trying. Let your imagination soar, shrug loose the limitations around you, find new methods, and give it a go. You might fail, or you might succeed. But, you might just redefine the word, "impossible," into "possible."

- M

Faced by absolute reality

I've been watching a show called "Canada's Worst Driver." It's interesting to see how many of these demonstrably poor drivers argue how they are indeed very good. One activity on every season is a test called, "Know where you're wheels are." The goal is to stay on two narrow paths without falling off. The drivers nearly always state beforehand that they will ace the test, and some do, but then when the wheels crash off the drivers are mystified. There's a definite lack of perspective and an unwillingness to accept criticism, even when it's the undeniable reality of wheels falling off a rail and the only possible cause is the driver's own mistakes.

I'm guessing none of us enjoy criticism when we do things wrong. It feels bad to have our goofs pointed out, and it riles our defensiveness. However, it's absurd to deny reality and truth only to cover our feelings. At some point, we must humble ourselves and accept responsibility. This is maturity in play, and we hopefully teach our children to choose this path. I believe we only truly grow when we mess up and have to learn to do better. Mistakes are a significant key to victorious life.

Back to terrible drivers, I am happy to say that the majority on the show do eventually own up to their failures and proceed to learn a great deal. In fact, I'd wager they become fairly good drivers simply because they have identified their weaknesses and constantly work to improve. This proves how patient and longsuffering instruction is ultimately rewarded with success. I'm encouraged by the show. I'm happy to see people grow better. Mostly, I'm glad we aren't as stubborn in our stupidity as it usually appears.

- M

Picking the next book to read

Imagine the fun of this bookcase!
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Well, I just finished another book, so now I'm looking at my bookcase and deciding which one to jump into next (although, truthfully, I usually bounce between about four books at any given time). It's both a delight and tragedy that so many good books are available these days. I'm grateful, because there's plenty to choose from, and I moan that I cannot possibly read them all. Sure, I could read more if I utilized speed reading, but I especially enjoy swimming amongst the words and not just gathering information. For me, books are a pleasure to be enjoyed for as long as possible, like a delicious chocolate cake.

Consider the incredible variety of book categories, themes, topics, and interests. The amount of sheer information and imagination on display is breathtaking. You could spend a hundred lifetimes only reading and never get through it all. The phenomenon of electronic books has only increased the flood of new books. These days it's easy to hold an entire catalog of books in the palm of your hand. In fact, it's so easy that you can easily purchase a book you didn't realize you already owned.

So, I'm back to staring at my bookcase and turning over ideas of what I want to read (including my rapidly growing electronic bookshelf). I always enjoy fiction, but I think I'm wanting something historical ... hmm, the wars of Napoleon? Or, I could into a new series. So many choices! Isn't it wonderful living in such a world as this?

- M

Happy surprises are still the best

As children, we love being surprised (think of the game Peek-a-Boo). Yet, we continue this love throughout young adulthood and into old age. Something about being surprised makes us electric, filled with energy, and eager to have more. I think that's why we give gifts, and why we deeply desire a specially selected item (rather than a gift card). Sure, the gift card is more practical, as we can buy whatever it is we actually need, but we want a surprise gift. It's the adult version of Peek-a-Boo.

Even animals play Peek-a-Boo
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Surprises come in many forms, such as: happy scares, prize boxes, marriage proposals, grandchildren, new foods, roller coasters, and books. What we find good and great varies by person, of course, but generally speaking they are desirable nice things. On the flip side, bad surprises are typically tragic and horrid and we label those "bad news." Sure, it's semantics, but I rarely hear surprises labelled as anything bad. Maybe it's because words do carry deep meaning for society, and we are loathe to move preferred words into other areas.

I think we never quite lose a baby's fascination with Peek-a-Boo. True surprises are frustratingly rare, and when we find them we adore the experience. I've found myself recommending various activities, solely on the idea that people will be amazed. Sure, I'm a big kid, and I believe everyone should have the joy and fun and excitement derived from great big surprises. Why do we ever stop seeking the experience? Are adults not supposed to have fun? Bah. Let your defenses down and bring back the joys of childhood wonder.

- M

Tribute to our Veterans.

Happy Veterans Day!

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We enjoy a wealth of freedoms in our nation, and we must always remember that those freedoms have come at a high price. Too often are our veterans forgotten, then to be trotted out during a single day of celebration during the year. Many have died, been maimed, lost families and friends, carry emotional scars, and will never fully recover. I think it's important to remember our military throughout the year, as they are the ones fighting for us, not seeking reward, and simply want our respect and acceptance.

It's good to have a specific day of remembrance. It's important. It's vital. Yet, continue to teach those who don't understand, the importance of our military. Military life is hard, and then the return to civilian life is often more difficult. Also, it's not only the soldier who has it tough, because their families are in the same position. Pray for them. Laugh with them. Cry with them. But, most of all, remember them.

- M

Have a cookie, you'll feel a lot better.

Do you have a favorite treat that makes you feel all warm and loved? For me, it's cookies fresh from the oven and still hot. Sit me down with chocolate-chip cookies, pour a glass of milk, and I'll be a puddle of joy for the next half hour. Am I reliving my childhood? No, not really. What it actually reminds me of is a secure home, happy childhood, and wonderful family. Tastes and smells are powerful memory stimulators, also, food is a way of forming bonds and relationships.



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I think we enjoy giving loved ones something special, with the intent of making them feel how special they are to us. There's a cherished glory about these times--events which are beyond counting in importance. It's in these times when we demonstrate our best humanity. We give, without thought of reward or accolade. We offer something of ourselves, and the recipient becomes full of new life. If there is any magic in our world, this is where it lies. Giving, and expecting no return, is miraculous and we should encourage it as often as we think of it.

But, there's something really special about cookies. The word is fun to say, the ingredients are as varied as there are ideas, and they are so very good to eat! Plus, if you get them warm and soft, they simply melt in your mouth. Send them as gifts, treats, or bribes. Cookies are amazingly versatile. Oh, and I've heard that if you drink milk along with cookies, then they are calorie-free ...

- M

ps. Okay, I admit cookies aren't calorie-free, but it's a fun thing to say anyway.

Fail your way to success.

How often do you fail? A lot? Some? Hardly ever? If you can't remember the last time you messed up, then I kindly suggest you haven't been trying hard enough. It's a maxim of life that you will fail far more than you will succeed. Watch a young child learning to walk. They will face plant over and over and over and over, then somehow balance on their legs ... and fall on their back. But, once they learn the tricks of motion, they are running all over the place. Do they remember the falls? Maybe, but it's far beneath the joys of getting where they want to go.

Thomas Edison famously reported 10,000 failures before inventing the light bulb. It's incredible the things he tried, yet each attempt brought him closer to understanding how the system worked and what he eventually needed to make it work. If he'd given up, then someone else surely would have completed the invention and gotten the credit. "Failure is success in progress," Albert Einstein. Oliver Goldsmith added, "Success consists of getting up one more time than you fall."

Failure is good for you. Failure teaches fortitude, honesty toward yourself, and determination. Do you want to succeed? Then, push through the feelings of despair and get moving! Don't let yourself wallow in the mire. Square your shoulders, bite back your curses, lift your eyes and focus on your goal. If it's easy, then the reward matters very little. Struggle, press forward, and win your prize. Don't worry about failing. Focus on the goal line and don't sweat the small stuff.

- M

Pain and sorrow. Why?

Las Vegas, Nevada. Sadly now connected with the worst shooting spree in United States history.

Why does tragedy strike over and again? Why do people inflict such pain on one another? Why doesn't it stop? The news is bloated with constant stories of suffering across our world. It never ends. I hope and pray for the people in need, and those who lost loved ones. Despite the pain, there is still hope for better. Have faith. There is victory over evil. I believe it completely.

May God ease the sufferings of all those in need. My heart and prayers go with you all.

- M

Do you have a plan for when you finish what you're doing?

When I was training for my black belt in Taekwondo, I had a laser focus on everything I needed to do. I trained daily, for hours and hours. I lived martial arts for the years I trained, even taking notes with me to church and ball games. There was never a doubt in my mind that I'd achieve my goal. I was the best, without the need to prove it to anyone. That kind of confidence allowed me to pursue Taekwondo with all my heart, and I never doubt myself even the slightest. Receiving my black belt was almost underwhelming.

And, then ... what?

I didn't have a new goal--aside from a second-degree black belt--and so I just kept training. What I discovered was a strange lack of focus. I didn't know what I wanted anymore, so I just drifted with what I knew. That didn't last long. Sadly, I wavered and finally dropped out. At the same time I learned a valuable lesson about setting new goals and never letting yourself float without a purpose.

Whatever you do in life, make sure you have a finish line in your sights. Then, when you reach the line, figure out a new one and aim yourself at that. If you leave yourself without one, you'll lose any interest in pushing yourself to new heights and will eventually fall to unwanted lows. We need to achieve, and even tiny wins are still victories. Motivation is the key to running life's journey, and will encourage you to strive to be your best.

Ask yourself, "What do I want? How do I get it done? When do I know I've done it?" Then, chase down your dreams and keep making new ones.

- M

Saying one thing, but doing another.

It's probably safe to say that we all dislike hypocrisy. It's puzzling to watch someone say something and then proceed to do the opposite, and usually infuriating. Why do we do it? (Nobody is safe from this criticism, especially those who deny it the most vocally.) To me, it's a form of delusional lying, because you're attempting to persuade yourself--and others--that you know the proper way to do things, then go on and do it wrong anyway.

The good thing is, we can all change our behavior. Sure, it can take a lot of courage to admit what you've been doing, but the reward is gaining honor and respect from those who know you. Afterward, be honest in what you do. When I was growing up, we were taught the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Maybe that's changed in wording somewhat, but the idea is to treat people kindly, regardless of circumstance. That includes keeping the same standards for everyone, and especially yourself.

Personal responsibility is a great thing for any society, and makes us better people on the whole. Yes, we see the polar opposite from most of our entertainment, but people of good character are still powerful examples. If anyone wants to know what I'm talking about, I'd point you toward my father and mother--there are no finer examples living. As another saying went: Let your word be your bond. Life is a lot easier when you don't need to remember what attitude you need to portray, and just live life in the best way possible.

- M

Wow, how time flies ...

Isn't it incredible how fast time rushes past, especially when you're doing something fun? I completely lost the weekend in a blur of editing my newest book. I've heard it said that if you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life. That's true. However, it may not begin that way. When you're first learning a skill, it's tough as nails to keep learning. You have to force yourself. But, there comes a time when the work becomes natural (not necessarily easy) and you find enjoyment in the process.


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Then there are those activities which are a joy from start to finish. Sports you enjoy, parties you love, games you can hardly wait to play. Life is filled with wonders and joys. Why do we spend so much time complaining about the things we dislike? I've never understood that. Sure, scooping trash and cleaning gum off the sidewalk isn't particularly celebratory, but there's no need to dwell on it -- unless it's your job and you're making money, in which case feel free to celebrate all the way to the bank.

I think I need to set an alarm so I realize what time of the week it is. Lost track of time? No. I'm not sure what day it is!

- M

Want to be smarter? Learn more words.

Why are poets so widely admired? Knowing great varieties of words allows you to express your thoughts precisely, perhaps even at all. Of course, communication requires your audience to understand those words, but context helps a lot in that area. As an example, consider the idea of hot and cold. At what point do those things become dangerous? If there are no words indicating the degree of peril, then how do you know? Sure, you can use "very" or other adverbs to modify what you're saying, but isn't "searing," "scalding," "freezing," or "numbing" better?

Being well spoken is widely regarded as a sign of intelligence. Sure, it's not a requirement, but it's a very obvious indicator. Something I've noticed is when you increase your vocabulary there's an increase of your interest in the world, and that will make you smarter. Actually, simply adding to your overall knowledge does the same thing, but you won't have the words to express your new wealth of interests.

It's been said that the average English speaker has a vocabulary of around 5,000 to 12,000 words. I'm not sure it's been figured in any accurate way, because there's too many variables (such as dialects, slang, and other words which may or may not count in the final figuring). What I can say is most people have a limited vocabulary to say the least--some being so poor in words as to be effectively broke. Do yourself a favor and get a "Word-a-Day" calendar app. In no time, you'll be using words with pinpoint accuracy. Plus, you'll enjoy the looks of dismay from those around you, as they ask, "what's that word mean?" Trust me, it's fun.

- M

Help me! I'm painting and I don't have any orange...

Why do we usually only cry for help when things are going badly? Why not ask for help when things are good? Sure, we may not think we need help, but think of it as assistance. There are many activities where more is better. Also, if you ask help from someone knowledgeable in the process (like assembling one of those insane desks you get at the store), then you can save yourself a lot of headaches and broken pencils. I think we reluctantly seek help (at least in America), because it somehow demonstrates a lack of ability, self-reliance, or stupidity. Help isn't a nasty word, and providing it or seeking it shows nothing more than willingness on either side.

As I've grown older, I've finally realized that I need lots of help. It no longer injures my pride to ask for it, and I love to provide it. What's amazing is the satisfaction all parties receive when good help is given. There's a certain kind of rewarding smile you only get when you help someone, and the sense of relief at not fighting alone is just as welcome. So, why belabor the point? If you need help, then ask for it. Don't rattle on alone.

For what it's worth, we're all in this world together, so we may as well help each other. I like to think offering some help will be happily forwarded to the next person. Maybe it's not changing the world, but it's my little part of it.

- M

Spider webs and the magical vision of children.

My favorite picture of a spider web, frozen in the Nebraskan snows.

What single thing in your childhood brings more wonder and bewilderment than the simple spider web? Spiders are incredible engineers. Just look at the structure and complexity in their webs. Unbelievable. There are multiple kinds of thread used, with differing tensile strengths (that's how much they can hold), and so many patterns its hard to believe a bug (yes, I know they're arachnids, but those are still bugs in my book) makes them. To craft a spider web requires things being done in a certain order, with the right bracings and right timing. I bet most humans couldn't create a web as complex as the meekest spider.

I often wonder why adults lose their wonder at the world. I can't figure it out. What happens to us? Why does the world become stale and uninteresting? Are our lives so filled to the brim with work and other stuff that we utterly miss the glories around us? Sad. We grow up, become responsible, have families, raise children, and shake our heads in complete bewilderment at the antics of our own kids. Maybe it's okay to keep a bit of the child in ourselves. Keep the curiosity, keep the wonder, and keep the starry-eyed optimism.

Adults see the world differently, through the lens of experience and knowledge. There's a reason children don't rule the world. But, keep the child in mind when you see the field of dandelions near your house, or a spider web frozen in the snow. Let the kid inside you loose to dance under the stars. Enjoy the world. There's so much to see. Trust me, take the time to watch a spider weave its web. You'll be glad you did.

- M

Beating the inevitable ending.

Stories end, that's the nature of them. At some point, the final period goes on the last page. Then, it's over. Funny how sad it is to finish a story, yet how exhilarating at the same time. There's always the choice of what to pick next. No matter if you're creating the story, or simply enjoying one, the thrill of encountering something fresh is wonderful.

I find myself reading not only many books at once, but various genres, and styles. Shakespeare and Tolkien don't necessarily mix, but it's sure fun to try. At the least, exposing yourself to lots of variety keeps you flexible. I think too many people stick with only what they know they like and never experiment at all. Give it a try--who knows, you may discover a new love.

Life is like that too. Sure, there's an inevitable end, but why focus on that? Try new things. Like some. Hate some. Love some. Sure, life isn't a story, but it's far more rewarding in the end. Hokeyness aside, give your life variety wherever you can. I suggest reading a lot more...

- M